“Did you hear an apology come out of this mouth?” I ask, the tone turning into a joke, and we both jump on the bandwagon. “No. So, get your ass to bed, so you can be well rested tomorrow. You’ll be keeping an eye on this place all on your own.”
“You sure you don’t want to take a nap?”
“Already did. I’m fine now. I’ll take the next shift, and then head back. Hopefully, I won’t be missing for more than a day.”
“I’ve been awake longer than that,” he snorts, good-humoredly.
“Yeah, but how well can you focus, after you haven’t slept for a day?”
“Point taken,” he chuckles. “Alright then. Get out of my sight now. How do you expect me to sleep with you constantly jabbering?”
“I’m gone, man, gone,” I raise my hands in a gesture of surrender. “See ya before I go.”
With those words, I close the door to our room, and walk back outside. The air is crisp, clean, as mountain air ought to be. As I take a walk off the porch and towards the unbeaten path, I feel like the earth has a pulse, which shoots through the ground, through the woods, all the way up to the mountains. I see all that lush greenery, and I can’t feel any of the discord I’m usually a victim to back in the city. I try not to dwell on it too much, as it’s too overbearing and drains energy, but sometimes, I grow tired of people’s power over me, or the power they think they have over me. Their rules and regulations are too much, but I know that if we didn’t have those, there would be total anarchy, and people like Sven would think they own the place. Can’t have that. No way.
But, being here and now, I can enjoy the solitude of the mountains, and be the silent, almost ghost-like observer of the slow, almost impenetrable passage of time. As that great mountain in the distance looms over us, I know what the future brings. I can’t keep hiding from it. The idea is instilled in my mind, as it is in my loins, and I know we must do something about it, otherwise we shall face extinction.
The greens around me lie in invisible jagged crevices, and the brilliant white of the sky is scorched by the oncoming clouds. The fangs of the future threaten to bite us all unless we find that someone. And, fast.
With those thoughts, I return to the porch. I remember one of the sayings my father used to repeat to us, on coming from his AA meetings. Yesterday’s history, tomorrow’s a mystery.
It takes my body some time to adjust to the new sleeping arrangement, as well as the new bed. I wake up, quickly do my business in the bathroom, and then head out into the living room. There is of course, no Internet reception, but at least there is a TV, old fashioned and of questionable functionality, but I decide to give it a shot. I blow some dust from the DVD player cover, and check my choices. A few comedies, two horrors (no, thank you - I had more than enough horror in the last 2 days or so to last me a lifetime), some romance, some drama. I snort. I guess a comedy will do. I opt for Dr. Doolittle and his animal shenanigans, as I get comfortable on the bed.
Suddenly, I hear the sound of a car turned on. I jump from the sofa and rush outside. What awaits me is Fynn seeing off Anderson in the car which was already disappearing into the distance.
“Where’s he going?” I muster, still looking after the car, feeling like a puppy whose owners decided to move but left it behind.
“He needs to head back,” Fynn retorts.
He gives me a look as if trying to put me in my place, like I shouldn’t even be asking such a question. Well, tough luck. I am.
He turns around and heads back into the house. I can feel that slow but steady burn of vexation rising from deep inside of me, and I know I won’t just let this one go. I don’t have Anderson now to be the buffer between us, so I need to show him that we’re on the same side here, and there’s no point in such animosity.
I rush in, after him, and catch him in the kitchen, getting himself a glass of water. With his back still turned away from me, facing the sink, I stand in the middle of the kitchen, trying to come up with the best start to this awkward and unpleasant situation.
“Why do you hate me so much?”
This definitely wasn’t what I intended to start with, but the little girl in me won over. She just wante
d to know what was it that she did, which had such an effect on this man. Did she step on his little toe somehow? Did she insult him in any way? The poor thing had no idea.
I say this loudly enough for him to hear it, but he doesn’t turn around. He downs his glass of water, then puts it on the kitchen counter. Then, slowly, he turns to face me.
“I don’t hate you,” he says simply. “What you seem to be forgetting is that we’re not here to have fun. We’re not here to watch movies and make popcorn. There is real danger out there.”
“Don’t you think I know that?” I snort back angrily. “I was face to face with this guy and trust me, I felt the evil steaming off of him, like some stench, which I doubt I’d ever be able to get rid of. So, believe me when I tell you that I know the danger we’re in. Actually, the danger I’m in. Because, if for some reason we all separate, you guys will be just fine. You’ll be able to take care of yourself. But me… not so much.” I finally take a deep breath after this loud, angry monologue, feeling my chest burning on the inside. “Is it so wrong to ask for some decency when addressing me? Is that really too much to ask?”
I realize that neither of us feels like they’re completely right, or completely wrong for that matter. We both stare at the floor in silence for a few moments, caught off guard by this moment of unexpected intimacy.
“I’m sorry,” I finally say. “I know this is just a job for you, and we probably don’t even have anything in common to be able to chat about. I guess I just took it too personally. I’ll keep my distance from now on, and hopefully, this month will pass quickly, so we’ll all be back to our lives…”