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“That was the best answer to that question ever,” he was still laughing.
“Well, you asked,” she declared importantly, pretending like she wasn’t proud to hear him say this.
“And, you replied,” he nodded.
“It really is true,” she continued, without him needing to goad her, “Lord knows I tried to find my soul mate, but something always felt off. It was never enough. I guess I feel like one person could never have that whole package deal that I’m looking for. I wish I could merge two people together and maybe that would satisfy me.”
He seemed to think about it for a second, before he replied.
“Do you consider yourself insatiable?” he wondered.
Not until he said it out loud did he realize how naughty that sounded.
“No, I didn’t mean…” he started shaking his head frantically.
“Oh, you didn’t mean that, I’m sure…” she teased him, but the wide smile on her face told him that she was having fun.
“I really didn’t!” he defended himself. “I just meant, you probably want a lot of attention, affection, stuff like that, I don’t know…”
“But, don’t all women want attention and affection?”
“I wouldn’t know,” he gave her a dismissive half-shrug, “my wife cheated on me, so I obviously don’t know shit about what women truly want.”
He said it so effortlessly, that she wasn’t sure if he really meant to say it or it just slipped out. Now, it was out there, like a fish on dry land, waiting for someone to grab it and throw it back into the water.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Rene said.
“That’s OK,” he smiled, “not like anyone died.”
“But, it’s still not something easy to process,” Rene gulped.
“I won’t lie, it hit me bad,” he admitted, raking his fingers through his hair, “but I’m not the kind of person to beg someone to be with me. You either love me or you don’t. If you do, then you belong to me, and I belong to you. There is no different way to do it. I guess I’m just like that, a bit old fashioned, but that’s how it is.”
Rene understood exactly what he meant, because she was like that, too. She knew what it meant to belong to someone, to expect that same level of commitment from that other person. This was something not many people understood or agreed with. That was also partly why she found it so difficult to find that someone special.
“I understand,” she whispered quietly.
“You do?” he was surprised to hear her talk that way.
“I do,” she nodded, in confirmation. “But, I also believe that love is love, it can belong to anyone, to any gender, even any number of people.”
“What do you mean?” he wondered.
“I mean, you are free to love whomever you wish, and also, you are free to love different people as well.”
“But, do you think you could love all of them equally?”
“See, that’s the beauty of love,” she proclaimed, “the more you love, the more love you create! You can never use it up, so to say. There is always enough of it, even more than enough to go around.”
He smiled as he watched her talk of love, of this unconventional manner of love. But, before he could say anything, Parker rushed back to them, and this conversation needed to end, for the time being.
When Rene tried to go to sleep that night, she couldn’t get Hyde out of her mind. She couldn’t understand how his wife could have cheated on him. He seemed to be the perfect man. Even though she knew there was no such thing as perfection, Hyde seemed to be the kind of person who held himself to a standard of grace and kindness, and that was infinitely better than perfection.
Chapter 7
It was late in the afternoon on a Monday, and Rene was asked to stay longer again. She didn’t mind, for two reasons. The first one was that she needed the money and any extra hours were more than welcome, as she couldn’t find a second job which she would be able to combine with this one. The second was, of course, Parker.
A few days ago, she was offered another full time position. At first, when she got the call, she was super happy. It still wasn’t enough to cover all her extra expenses, but it was more than she was getting now. Holding that phone in her hand, her first instinct was to shout yes to the girl from the agency. But, the moment she opened her mouth, nothing came out. Her words disintegrated into thin air, and she was unable to say a word of what she had intended. The lady on the other line thought that they got disconnected, but then, Rene politely declined the offer. She explained herself with the fact that she just needed a part time baby-sitting job alongside this one, as the boy was very special and she’d hate for him to get attached to her, only to have to repeat the whole process all over again. The lady at the agency seemed to understand, and even praised her professionalism at choosing to remain consistent with a family because of their child, than to immediately jump at a better financial opportunity. Rene appreciated her understanding, but as soon as she hung up the phone, she herself didn’t understand where all that came from.
