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She sighs in defeat. "I don't know, Juan said that if I helped him, then Jagger wouldn't hate me anymore. I love him and he hates me. I didn't know what else
to do."
"Carina, you've been around my men, who's the rat?"
She stills. "Rat?"
My hands reach for the tie of the blindfold, she flinches. I ignore it and pull the blindfold off. "Yes, a rat. Someone in my organization is betraying me. Who?"
"What makes you think I know?" Her bravado is back in full force.
Grabbing her throat, I squeeze. "Don't test me Carina, you won't like the outcome."
She sighs. "I don't know, whoever it is, they're good. I haven't even heard any chatter about it. If the men don't know, then I can't help you."
Releasing her neck, I ask, "Who do you think it is?" She looks away not saying anything. I pull out my gun, my hand outstretched as I point it at her. "Last chance," I tell her as I cock it.
"Barney. I think its Barney. That man is too slick. He has an answer for everything."
I nod and squeeze the trigger...
Seven
Mia
I’m awoken by a shrill scream. Opening my eyes I glance at Lacey, she’s asleep. My entire body is shaking and I realize that it was me that screamed. I must have had a nightmare. The room is still in darkness. I don’t know if it’s still the same day or it’s a new one. Time just seems to blur. I always seem to be awake when it’s dark, either that or we’re somewhere where there’s no light at all except for a certain time of day. I know that we’re in a basement but where could we be where there’s not much light? It’s hurting my head trying to figure it out, I don’t have the energy to figure it out.
"Mia, are you awake?" Lacey asks, the clinking of the metal from her shackles fills the air as she turns on her mattress.
"Yeah I'm awake." My mind is so messed up right now, I don't know what day it is, what time it is, I couldn't even tell you how long I was asleep for.
"Are you okay?"
I bite back my retort of saying what do you think? Instead I lie. "I'm okay, are you not able to sleep?" I don't want to do this stupid small talk. No, I'm not okay, I don't believe that I’ll ever be okay.
"Mia, talk to me. I can hear in your voice that you're not okay. I don't expect you to be. I heard what that monster did to you."
I close my eyes in pain. "No I'm not okay, Lace, the worst thing that could ever happen to me, happened. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. All I want to do is cry but what's the point, it’s happened and I'm scared that is going to happen again. He said he'll be back, Lacey. I just laid here and let it happen." My tears start to fall thick and fast again.
"Don't," she growls. "Don't you ever say that. You did not ask for it, you did not want it. He had no right doing what he did. Never ever think this was your fault. It's going to get better, I promise you it will."
"You really think so? Because I don't. If by some miracle, we manage to get out of here, how am I supposed to live? How am I supposed to move on, am I meant to act as if nothing happened? That I wasn't violated, that somebody didn't rape me?"
Her sobs fill the room. "I'll be with you every step of the way. No one said that you'll have to pretend it never happened. You don't have to be ashamed, it wasn't your fault and everyone will understand that, Mia. The worst thing you can do is hide, lock it away and let it fester inside of you. I will help you through this. I love you Mia."
I smile, it's good to have her with me. “I love you too, Lace, I don't know what I would do without you."
“You’d be fine. You’re the strongest woman I know. When we get out of here, please tell me that you’re going to see Hudson.” Her voice is soft, but hopeful.
“He’ll be my first stop. I want to talk to him, I owe him that much. God, Lace. I miss him so much.” He’s the one thing that has kept me sane since I’ve been here. Every night that I close my eyes and images of what that monster did to me begin to play out in my mind. I push them back and think of Hudson. I think of the way he loves me and it helps.
“I know, Mia. I know you do. What about your mom, are you going to have a conversation with her?”
I sigh. “I guess I’ll have to talk with her but I have no idea what to say to her. She hates Hudson, she doesn’t want me to be with him, she’s never once said anything good about him and I don’t want to listen to it. Not anymore.” I don’t want to listen to it, I know now that Hudson doesn’t like mom, but he never said anything bad about her even though he had every opportunity. It just showed me that he has more respect than she does. He respects me and the relationship that I have with her.
“What about you? Are you going to talk to Barney?” I ask, there’s something about Barney that makes me think that he deserves another chance.
She’s silent for a moment. “I don’t know Mia, I want to see him, talk to him and see what he has to say. But at the same time, he’s hurt me enough and I can’t take another hit like he’s given me already.”
