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She nods, a massive smile on her face, she looks breath taking. “I like your mom. She’s sweet.”
I laugh. “Mom and sweet don’t go together. Come on, let’s go and eat before it goes cold.” I get to my feet and pull Mia up, she crashes into my body and I take this opportunity to press my lips down against hers and kiss her.
Eighteen
Mia
I don't have long, I promised Jagger I would be quick. If Hudson knew that Jagger had left me alone he'd go crazy, but right now I cannot have Jagger in the stor
e with me. I told him I need to grab some sanitary towels; as soon as the words left my mouth, I knew he wouldn't be coming with me. The way his face blanched and his body cringed, a typical male way of dealing with what goes on in a woman's body.
Rushing down the aisles, trying to find what I came in for. Quickly picking up some sanitary towels and throwing them in the basket. While I'm here I grab some shampoo and conditioner, basic things that I don't have at Hudson’s. He bought me a different brand than I usually get and the soap he bought me has irritated my skin and I have a little rash. It’s sore and I’m hoping using my usual brand will ease it. Since today is the first day I've been set free, not having Hudson around me all the time. It’s what I said to Hudson this morning, he didn’t find it amusing. Finally I come down the aisle I’ve been searching for. I don't even look I just pick up a box and throw into my basket. I quickly rush to the counter, knowing that Jagger could be walking in any second.
The cashier starts ringing through the order when she comes to the box I picked up. She gives me a curious look, I close my eyes and ignore it, not wanting to talk about it and not wanting to think about it. Thankfully the cashier doesn't say anything and I pay and dash out of the store.
Sliding into the car I place the bags out my feet. “Did you get what you needed?” Jagger asks softly, he's so sweet. He’s got a glint in his eye now that Sarah's back, he's so happy.
“Thanks for bringing me, Jag.”
He shrugs as he puts the car into drive, there goes my freedom, it’s time to go home. “You're welcome, just don’t say anything to Hudson, if he knew that I let you out by yourself he’d blow a gasket.”
I laugh knowing damn well he would. “Cross my heart, your secret is safe with me. How are Allie and Sarah?” I always ask him this every time he comes to the house or when he's babysitting me. It’s the first thing out of my mouth. I always ask how my girls are, I'm sad because I haven't been able to see them since Lacey’s funeral, but I also understand why. Being around me could put them in danger and I would never want that so I agreed with the men, to keep them safe, we have to be apart.
“They're good although I know you know that. It’s not like you two don’t talk.” He shakes his head at me.
It’s true, Sarah and I FaceTime every day, maybe two or three times a day. I need my friend and she needs me, I still haven't told her what happened and I don't know if she knows. I haven't quite been able to approach the question with Jagger, but I know that I need to ask him. I don't want her to know, not just yet anyway
“Jag?” I question.
“Mia,” he replies with a smirk.
“Did you tell Sarah what happened in that basement?” There it’s out now.
He’s silent for a second. “Mia what happened to you in that basement is your story to tell. I would never tell Sarah something that you need to tell her. I am going to keep it a secret until you are ready to open up to her.” He reassures me but there’s also a grit to his tone.
“You think I should tell her?” I asked quietly, I'm not sure if I'm ready for that.
He nods instantly. “Yes, I do think you should tell her but I don't think you should tell her until you're ready. I understand that has to be hard for you, I also think that by not telling her you're not allowing yourself to come to terms with what has happened. You're strong, there is no denying that. We're all in awe of your strength and resilience. But Mia sometimes you need to let it out and you haven't…”
“I have.” I cut him off, “I have come to terms with it.”
He shakes his head. “No Mia, you haven't come to terms with what he has done to you.” He says softly, “He violated you, he took something from you. Maybe talking to Sarah may help you deal with that, I don't know but I do believe you should talk to someone.”
“Okay,” I reply, unsure what to do. I love that he’s worried but I just don’t know if I have it in me to talk about it.
“Have you spoken to Hudson about it?”
I frown. “I told him everything,” I reply, although I didn’t tell him absolutely everything. Well mostly everything that happened.
“That's good, but Mia, did you tell him how you feel about it?”
I turn and face out the window just as the tears stream down my face. “I don't want to. I don't want to tell him that, for him to hear it.”
“Why? You’re his fiancé, soon to be wife, don’t you think you should be honest.”
“I love Hudson, he's so strong, and he always knows what to do. He would never let someone hurt him the way that Martin hurt me. I feel weak and I feel dirty but I could never tell him because I don't want him to look at me like I'm weak and dirty.” The tears cascade down my face, I’m unable to see as they come thick and fast.
“My god Mia,” he gasps sounding hurt, but I don’t turn to look at him. “Hudson loves you and I don't mean love as a generic term. I mean that man adores you, he worships the ground you walk on and he's not going to think you're weak and dirty he's going to think you're brave and amazing.”
