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my eyes I focus on my breathing.
“Okay Mia, this may be a little uncomfortable,” she tells me as she inserts something inside of me. “Just a second,” she murmurs. “Ah, there we are,” she says, triumphantly.
Opening my eyes I look in her direction, she’s staring at the screen.
“So from this, it seems as though you’re about ten weeks pregnant.”
My eyes widen as blood rushes through me and my ears ring. Ten weeks means there’s no way it’s Martin’s baby. Thank God, relief washes through me. I stare at the screen, trying to make it out, but my eyes are blurry as the tears fall freely and I smile unabashedly.
The whoomp whoomp whoomping is music to my ears, the proof that life is there, my baby is there, his or her heart beating away. I choke up at how precious this moment truly is.
“The heartbeat is strong, that’s a good sign,” Doctor Ojan tells me, “Are you having morning sickness?”
I think about the nausea I’ve been experiencing and nod. “I’m more fatigued than anything.”
She finishes up and I’m free to put on my pants again. “That’s perfectly normal for your first trimester.” Her beeper goes off and she looks at me. “If you have any worries at all, please see a doctor. I’ll leave Angela to explain everything else. I’m sorry to rush off, but I have an emergency. Congratulations, Mia.”
I smile genuinely for the first time. “Thank you.”
She wheels the machine out of my room, leaving Angela and I in the room alone. “Mia, is it okay if I call you Mia?” she asks softly.
“Of course.”
She smiles, “Congratulations.”
“Thank you.” I can’t believe that I actually heard the heartbeat, it made it all that much more real.
“Your fiance told me about what happened to your mom, I am so sorry for your loss.”
My eyes fill with tears and I try not to let them fall but they seem to have a mind of their own, they slowly trickle down toward my cheek. “Thank you.”
“I know that this is a hard time for you, I also know that you’re going through a lot right now so what I may say might not make sense, so I’ll give you pamphlets and stuff for you to bring home with you. “You’ll see an Obstetrician and your family doctor throughout your pregnancy. You’ll receive a letter with dates, so you don’t need to worry about that.” She hands me some pamphlets, and I stare at the pregnant woman on the front, she’s smiling brightly and looks as though she has no cares in the world. That’s what I want, to be that carefree while carrying my baby, but I know that’s not going to happen, not while Martin is out there.
“Mia, the doctor will be around in a couple of minutes to check up on you, but as we now know that you’re pregnant, he'll probably let you go, the shock of losing your mom in such a horrific way is most probably why you fainted. Again, I’m extremely sorry for your loss.”
“Thank you, for everything,” I tell her and watch as she walks out the door, I quickly fold the pamphlets up that she gave me and put them into my pocket, grateful that I wore pants that have them.
I hope the doctor comes soon, I really want to leave and check on Hudson, Angela gave me the impression that things with his mom had changed. That’s not good, he was so positive that she was going to be okay, she would be in a lot of pain but she was fine. What changed? Were the doctors wrong?
The door opens and in walks Hudson, as soon as I see him it’s like a damn breaks inside of me, my body bucking as I sob. His arms are around me within seconds.
“I’m sorry, Princess. I’m so fucking sorry,” he says.
My arms go around his neck and I sob into his chest. “It...Wasn’t...Your...Fault,” I tell him through my wails, all the while he holds me tightly.
He lifts me off the bed, sits down on it, and places me onto his lap, it’s something he always does when he wants to get closer to me. He holds me until my tears dry once again. “Is your mom okay?” I ask as soon as I’m able to talk properly.
“She has a pulmonary embolism, they have given her the drugs to help reduce it. But she’s okay, they caught it early, it could have been a lot worse,” his voice cracking, it’s been one hell of a day, we’re all feeling it.
“I’m glad they caught it early. Was it due to the surgery?”
He pulls me closer, placing a kiss against my head. “We’re not sure, Princess, it may not be, it could be from the shot, or she may have had one beforehand. They can’t be certain, but it’s been found and they’re working on getting rid of it.”
I turn so that I can see him. “How are you?” It must have been hard learning that his mom was shot not to mention that she was in surgery.
His eyebrows raise as his eyes widen. “Me? Princess, you’ve just lost your mom and you’re asking me how I’m doing?”
I nod. “Yes, I’m asking you how you’re doing. Your mom was shot, she had surgery Hudson, that’s a big deal. Not to mention you saw me faint.”
