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“I meant what I said about you not rushing out of here on my account, Delaney. I don’t want you staying somewhere else unsafe just because you think I don’t want you here.”
He seemed so sincere. She hardly knew what to make of it, of him. She was trying so hard to fit him into the only box she understood, but he was constantly bursting free of it.
“I appreciate that. I’m still deciding for sure. I was thinking I could let you know by the end of the week.”
This time his smile was forced. “Sure. Of course. I’ll see you this afternoon.”
He pinned her with one last long stare and then slipped out the door, closing it softly behind him. It was the right thing to do. Leaving. So why did it cause this knot to tighten in her stomach?
She sighed and turned back to the sink. Picking up the next glass, she gently washed it in the soapy water, rinsing it before adding it to the drying rack.
Everything was a confusing jumble in her head. Especially when she thought about how much she wanted to kiss him again. Before meeting James, she would have sworn up, down, and inside out that she would never be interested in kissing, touching, or having sex with a man ever again. James was quickly proving her wrong on all three counts.
She had absolutely no idea what to do about that. She couldn’t afford to let her heart or her touch-starved body make stupid decisions her mind and soul would have to pay for later. She couldn’t—wouldn’t—find herself trapped again.
Setting the last dish onto the rack, she released the water from the sink and rinsed out the dirty suds before drying her hands on a kitchen towel. There was no more stalling. She’d given herself a deadline. An unnecessarily long deadline, but a deadline nonetheless.
Glancing at the clock over the stove, she shoved away from the counter and jogged up the stairs to get changed for work. Her door was closed, as she’d left it, and her duffel sat untouched on the floor of the closet. There were hangers on the rod and the dresser was empty, but she hadn’t unpacked. What was the point?
She double-checked that the door was locked even though the apartment was empty and wriggled out of the leggings and tank she slept in and into jeans, tugging her Black Orchid shirt over her head. Quickly folding her clothes, she set them back inside her bag and pulled out the plastic bag she kept toiletries in.
Crossing into the bathroom, she brushed her teeth and ran a bit of product and some water through her hair to refresh it. She’d definitely need a wash day soon. Another reason to figure out her next move sooner rather than later.
Returning everything to her bag, she stared down at it. She’d taken it with her when she’d left for work yesterday out of habit more than anything else. But it’s not like it was any more secure in her car where she usually stashed it than it was up here in her room.
Her room. She rolled her eyes, annoyed with herself, and hoisted her bag onto her shoulder. Three nights of decent sleep and she was thinking like a crazy person. Nothing here was hers except the things she kept neatly packed in her duffel. Not the room, not the space, and certainly not the man. It was dangerous to want things she couldn’t have.
Carrying it down the stairs, she set it by the door and checked the clock one more time. If she had the minutes to spare, she’d make a second cup of coffee and enjoy it while she stared out the window at the busy street below. The life that teemed in Philly’s streets reminded her so much of where she grew up.
She hadn’t been back in almost a decade, and still the loss of it sat heavy on her chest. There was nothing for her there either. An empty house that had long since been reclaimed by the bank and auctioned to the highest bidder. Her mother’s and grandmother’s things were sold to strangers.
She’d wanted to grow old in that house once, to settle down there with a good husband and raise a family. She’d released that dream at the tender age of twenty-five, knowing she’d never be allowed to go home again.
When she finally got out, she thought about running there, but the fear she’d be tracked to a familiar place had warred with the shame of where she’d been, and she’d stayed away. Skirting around it as close as she dared but never touching it. Even in her wildest dreams, she’d given up on ever seeing it again.
Shaking herself out of the memories of a past she could never quite bury, she quickly stored the dishes in their places and gave the counter one final wipe down. It was almost ten, and she needed to hurry if she was going to be out of the parking lot before Addy pulled in.
Addy had a habit of showing up about thirty minutes before her shift to double-check pantry inventory and start her first pot of coffee of the day. The woman drank so much coffee Delaney was amazed she didn’t shoot off like a bottle rocket by the end of the night.
Grabbing her purse off the counter, Delaney made her way to the door. She wasn’t leaving, driving around for an hour, and coming back because she wanted to lie. It was just that she had a right to her privacy, same as anybody else.
So if Delaney wanted to pretend she wasn’t staying in the spare bedroom in her boss’s apartment while she debated whether she should give into the burning want to kiss him again or leave town, then that was her prerogative.
But leaving the door unlocked behind her reminded her she had a decision to make and not a lot of time to make it.
ChapterSixteen
On Friday, James pulled up to the gate guarding the Callahan estate and punched in his code. The wrought iron opened on silent hinges, and he drove through the spindled trees and around the circular drive, parking behind Aidan’s truck.
Letting himself in through the open garage, he followed the sound of voices back to the family room and poured himself two fingers of scotch from the minibar in the corner of the room. No kids for tonight’s dinner. The next generation of Callahans were all safely tucked in bed upstairs or at home with their nannies.
He stood at the fringe and sipped his drink. The family had seemingly exploded overnight, with his cousins all finding their women, getting married, and having kids. It was nice to see, even if he occasionally found himself wondering what his life might look like now if Maura hadn’t been stolen from him.
He’d spent months dealing with the bitterness that simmered in his chest when he thought about everything they’d gained and everything he’d lost. None of it was their fault. He could hardly punish them for it. So he’d settled into a different rhythm with them instead.
“What are you doing over here all by yourself?” Viv wondered, setting an empty glass on a tray and shifting to stand beside him.
“Just watching and observing. Are you glowing?”
