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“Okay,fine.You can replace my kitchen table if it means so much to you. Since we’re friends and all….” I trail off, the stupidity of my words after what he just admitted feeling like a punch to the stomach.
Ford lets out a chuckling sigh, but there’s no humor on his face when he pushes away from me and the wall, swiping one of his hands through his hair again. This big, strong man who wants to slay all my dragons suddenly looks nervous and unsure of himself.
“I don’t want to just be friends with you, Sidney. I’m pretty sure I made that clear.”
He did. OhGod, he did. The things he said are ping-ponging around in my head, making it hard to focus and hard to keep standing when my legs feel shaky.
He wants to touch me everywhere.
He wants to have sex with me.
I can’t even let myself think about the happiness comment he made right now, or I’ll start crying. Crying won’t do when there’s so much heat spreading through my body as every scenario I’ve ever imagined between the two of us flashes through my head in bright, naked, sweaty technicolor.
The back of my neck tingles, and the hair on my arms stands on end, like there’s suddenly an electric charge in the air. After six years of wanting this and pretending like I didn’t, having it handed to me on a silver platter makes my head spin. I still don’t fully understand whynow. Why he’s suddenly feeling this way after six years… and I quickly realize at this moment in time, I honestly don’t care.
“This is too much,” I whisper, not even believing the words I’m saying as my head thunks back against the house.
Ford doesn’t believe them either. “Bullshit. It’s not enough.”
Before I can come up with another lame argument, Ford’s hand darts out and grabs the side of my face, dipping his head and crashing his mouth to mine.
Time stops.
The crickets are suddenly quiet.
The leaves are no longer rustling in the trees.
The porch, the house, the street, and the entire town disappears.
There’s nothing but the heat of Ford’s lips tightly fused to mine. A few seconds pass… a few beats of my heart to let me know I’m still alive and that I’m not dreaming.
His hand on my cheek slides around to grip the back of my neck, and everything speeds back up again, crashing through my head in an explosion of noise and chaos when he parts my lips with his tongue and swipes it through my mouth.
This is really happening. Ford is kissing me.
Jesus Godis he kissing me, and there’s nothing nervous or unsure about him now. The soft chirping of crickets and the gentle rustling of leaves around us suddenly sound like the noise of a freight train flying by as his tongue moves against mine. Licking in and pulling back, licking in and pulling back, over and over again until the heat coiling in my belly shoots a pulsing ache between my thighs, skyrocketing my blood pressure and making my heart pound in my ears.
I’m lost. Completely finished. Ruined forever. There’s nothing I can do but whimper into his mouth and kiss him right back, my hands flying up between us to grip the front of Ford’s shirt in them, pulling him closer. A groan rumbles from his chest, and I feel that sound of desperation through every inch of my body like a bolt of lightning. His arm tightly bands around my waist, lifting me up on my toes until my feet almost leave the ground as he tugs me roughly against his body, changing the angle of his mouth pressed against mine, deepening the kiss, making my body feel like it was just tossed into a wave cresting off the shore, spinning and tumbling, never knowing which way is up.
This is wrong. We shouldn’t be doing this, butmy God,with each swipe of his tongue through my mouth, I can’t even think of one good reason why.
I feel like I’ve been waiting my entire life to be kissed like this. It’s hot. Possessive. Greedy. No room for argument that we weren’t made to be doing this with each other. Nothing feels awkward that I’m making out with my friend. It feels like coming home. Like Halloween night and Christmas morning all rolled into one. Every happy moment in my life pales in comparison to Ford kissing me like he’s been doing it since the day we met.
“Jesus Christ.” He breaks the kiss long enough to pant those words against my mouth, and then he’s diving right back in again before I can catch my breath, like that three-second pause almost killed him.
My back hits the house behind me as his body, along with his lips, just melt into mine while his tongue licks through my mouth again, until I can feel every hard, solid inch of him from my chest to my thighs, including the thick bulge in his jeans between us.
He wants me.
He already said the words, and the way he’s devouring me with his mouth right now proves that. But feeling the evidence of his arousal and what I do to him makes me feel like I’m drowning. His hand grips tighter to the back of my neck, and his arm around my body squeezes me harder against him, anchoring me to the solid weight of him and keeping my head above water. Our tongues tangle together, over and over, harder, deeper, and with more urgency, until I don’t even know who’s kissing who at this point. My arms fly around Ford’s shoulders until I’m clinging to him, clawing at him, wanting more.
My foot hooks around the back of his leg, pulling him closer, moaning into his kiss when he gives an upward thrust of his hips, the bulge in his jeans rubbing right against the pulsing ache between my thighs as his body wedges me more firmly against the side of the house.
I feel drunk on the smell of him and the taste of him, the way he growls every time he changes the angle of the kiss, like he’s so hungry for me he’s angry about it. My head is buzzing and spinning with the reality of how right this feels, how righthefeels.
He kisses away every thought I’ve ever had, every promise I’ve ever made to my family, and every Tanner rule I’ve ever obeyed, until my mind is filled with an image of the two of us making out on this porch of my dream home, after all our guests have gone home, while the kids are fast asleep up—
Jesus, Sidney, what are you doing? It doesn’t work that way, remember?
