AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“You’re late.”
“Why is she still wearing yesterday’s clothes?”
“I made pumpkin cheesecake bars!”
“You’re also out of coffee creamer.”
“Where have you been? We’ve been waiting for you for over an hour.”
“…and eggs, and bread, and cereal. What are we supposed to do for breakfast?”
“Pumpkin cheesecake bars! Yay!”
“We all know where the hell she’s been. And now, we riot.”
“Goddammit, I can’t believe another October is about to be ruined because of a man. I want to rip all their throats out with my bare hands and shred them in a cheese grater.”
“Well, now I just completely lost my appetite. But seriously, where do you keep your cheese grater, Sid?”
“Should I leave? I really shouldn’t be listening to you guys plan felonies.”
“No!” every woman seated around my kitchen table screams at Kenny, the lone man, whose wide, slightly terrified eyes dart toward the closest exit.
Which just so happens to be my front door that I’m currently slumped against, wishing I would have stayed asleep on Ford’s couch a little longer this morning. Like, for the rest of October.
It’s not unusual to find my family surrounding my kitchen table in the wee hours of the morning, nor Kenny. My family claims I’m the only one who knows how to make a decent, delicious breakfast, and Kenny is typically here to arrest someone. On good days, he’s just here to give a warning.
I’m really hoping this is a good day. I’m still exhausted after dealing with last night’s bullshit, even if the end of the evening was much more pleasant.
At least my favorite room in my rented townhouse is a welcome sight. With black cabinets and orange accent lighting all around the top and bottom of them, the Halloween village with pieces I’ve been collecting since I was a child are lit up and lining every inch of space all along the top of my cabinets close to the ceiling. My coffee nook is filled with all my Halloween mugs, and my jack-o-lantern utensil holder is filled with orange and black cooking utensils, along with all the other little Halloween odds and ends decorating the space. It’s the one room of my house I keep Halloween themed year-round. It makes me happy to walk in here no matter what month it is. It reminds me I always have something to look forward to, no matter what kind of insanity is happening in my life.
The fact that what I’ve been looking forward to all year is finally here, and he ghosted me before I woke up this morning—just like always—is the only thing that stops me from turning around and walking right back out my front door.
“Hi, sweetie! I made pumpkin cheesecake bars!” my Aunt Dawn greets me with a smile and a kiss to the cheek after scrambling up from my table.
“I heard.” My sigh is loud and heavy, and I don’t even bother hiding it as I carefully set my box of severed heads down on my entryway table, and then toe off my black Converse. “Care to tell me why you’re all in my home at 7:30 in the morning?”
“It’s your intervention. And you’re late.” My mother shakes her head at me while I stare at the words on my coffee cup she brings to her mouth,Witches be crazy.
How fitting….
“Wait, I thought I was here because you wanted to file a complaint about a resident?” Kenny’s orange mug with a jack-o-lantern face painted on it smacks against my table when he sets it down with an annoyed huff.
“We’ll get to that. Pipe down and drink your coffee,” my mother orders, which makes Kenny quickly take a sip.
Sure, he’s an officer of the law, but he knows better than to argue with a tableful of Tanner women who are fired up. Plus, my mother has been friends with Kenny’s mother since they were kids. She changed Kenny’s diapers when he was a baby, and she will not hesitate to bring up his “cute little tush” to win any argument. Since Kenny prefers his butt not be a topic of conversation when he’s in uniform, he wisely stays quiet.
“You’ve already forgotten about us, and it’s only day one!” my sister Penny complains, aggressively yanking the ponytail holder out of her long blonde hair until it all spills around her shoulders.
“How exactly have I forgotten about you?” I want to remind everyone at the table that I spent four hours in jail for two of them last night, but I can’t exactly do that in front of Kenny.
Even if hedoesknow, he doesn’tknow-know, and I’m keeping it that way.
The four blondes in my kitchen all wave me away with their hands and a roll of their eyes.
“You were late!” Ginger complains.
“To your own intervention!” my mom and Penny add in unison.
