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“Going?” I echo, distracted.
“The wedding,” he reminds me.
“Right.” The dread seeps into my body. After this breezy day, I have to spend my evening watching Miles and Nadia pledge eternal love and fidelity. It’s going to take so much energy to pretend that I’m fine—all night long.
“Have fun, you two,” Olivia chirps happily. “Stay out on the dance floor a little extra for those of us collapsing in bed at nine o’clock.”
I force a smile. “Will do.”
Dance? I’ll be lucky to make it through without cursing both their names.
“C’mon, Sommerville,” Charlie says, holding out a hand to pull me up. “At least this will work out to be a two-cake day for you.”
I sigh. Unfortunately, no amount of cake in the world is going to make this wedding fun.
Not even double-chocolate ganache.
* * *
Charlie dropsme home to change, and I try to brace myself for the night to come. I go through the motions: Carefully applying makeup, curling my hair, sliding into my siren red dress, which truly is tailored to perfection. The reflection in the mirror tells me that it looks fantastic, but something doesn’t feel right.
Through all of this, I keep waiting to feel the last embers of breakup rage, or a maybe even a little pang of heartbreak at what my life could have been. Anything. But I don’t want what Nadia and Miles have. Not even a little. Which is a good thing, I suppose?
“Well, damn,” Charlie says, as I meet him out front. He’s leaning against his car, looking every inch the high school dream boyfriend. His simple gray suit draws all the attention to the man wearing it. He looks me up and down. “Consider revenge served. Hot.”
I smile. “Thanks. Let’s get this annoyingly obligatory show on the road!”
“It’s not too late to papaya your way out of it, you know.” Charlie must be reading my mind, because he lingers by my open passenger door.
“You mean bail?” I shake my head, and slide into the car. “I can’t.”
“Why not?” Charlie gets behind the wheel, and we pull away from the curb. “You clearly don’t want to be there.”
“What gave me away?” I ask with a wry grin. “My scowl? The fact my whole body is recoiling at the thought of being in a confined space with them, let alone toasting their lifelong happiness?”
“All of the above. Plus… Look,” he pauses at a light, and looks over at me. “There are things we do because we have a duty. Half the weddings this summer have been old colleagues, or college friends, or people I’m not super-tight with. But I value their friendship, so I suck it up and go. But this is different. Who are these people to you, if not a painful reminder of betrayal and misery?”
Good question.
I swallow hard.
“You don’t have anything to prove to them,” he reminds me. “They’re in the past. Why give them any more power? Who the fuck cares what they think?”
And maybe his enthusiastic cursing is infectious, or maybe I’m finally willing to stop worrying about how it’ll seem, not care if people whisper, because I feel a sudden wave of relief.
I know what I have to do.
Or rather, what I don’t have to do. Which is let those duplicitous assholes ruin another moment of my life.
“OK,” I say, my heart pounding. “Papaya.”
Charlie looks over at me, hopeful. “Wait. Really?”
“Really.” I nod, surer of myself now that I’ve said it aloud. “You’re right. I just… Don’tcare. I don’t care if ditching looks spiteful. I don’t care what Nadia and Miles think about me orifthey think about it. They’re not part of my life anymore. I don’t want to be part of theirs.”
Charlie’s grinning. “Breakthrough!”
“Breakthrough,” I agree. Honestly, it feels great. Now that I’ve listened to myself, I feel unstoppably sexy in this dress. It was never meant for celebrating two people who hurt me.
