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“Well, I hope he’s better than her last boyfriend.”
“Ugh, Calvin was the worst. I hated that guy.” That stops me because I always assumed she loved him from what my sister told me.
“You did?” She nods, taking another sip of her beer. “Kelsey always told me you liked him.” That makes her laugh out loud, covering her mouth when a few people look our way.
“Hell no. That guy was a creep and a misogynist. I hated him on sight and told your sister that on so many occasions she stopped bringing me around when he was in the vicinity.” I chuckle softly as a waitress brings our food, setting the plates in front of us.
“I feel like I need to have a chat with my sister,” I mutter, taking a big bite and watching the smile transform Ashley’s face. Fuck, she’s beautiful, even more now than when we were kids. Her eyes catch me staring as I shake my head slightly and go back to eating.
“I’m sorry,” Ashley whispers, barely audible as my eyes flick up to hers. The guilt is clear, and I can’t figure out what it’s for. Was it for last night and what happened between us? Or was it this morning and how we left things?
“Ash, listen. I know what happened last night was a shock to us both, but I’m not sorry it happened. I can’t be. What happened was something I’ve been craving for a lot longer than I want to admit and I will not let you ruin that memory for me.” She takes a shuddering breath, her head shaking as she sets down her fork and looks my way.
“I know. And I would never want that. What happened last night was…amazing.” My eyes widen because that is not what I was expecting her to say.
“Earlier you told me in no uncertain terms that it was a mistake.” She nods, sadness reflecting back at me.
“I know, and at the time I thought that’s what it was, but the longer I thought about it, the more I couldn’t ignore the fact that last night was the happiest I’ve been in years.” I can’t control the smile that flickers over my features, or the way my chest fills with hope at her words.
“Then why did you walk away?” The question spills out, her eyes avoiding mine as she looks toward the front of the pub.
“Because I’m scared.” I let out a breath, reaching out and taking her hand in mine. Scared I can handle, scared I can fix.
“Of losing Kelsey?” She nods, her eyes filling with tears and her chest compressing with every breath. “Oh, baby but you won’t. I won’t ever let that happen.” She shakes her head, pulling her hand from mine.
“You can’t promise something like that Kace. There is no scenario where you can promise I won’t lose my best friend if things between us go south.”
“Why do they have to go south?” I ask, the question lingering between us. It’s something I’ve been thinking about all morning and it won’t leave my brain. I know she’s scared of all the what-ifs that come with us dating. I don’t blame her, there are a lot. But why would she assume the worst when we haven’t even started yet?
“Come on Kace. I’m not blind. The fact that I get a play-by-play from your sister about every girl you’ve ever been with makes me a little wary of your ability to commit.” I rear back as if she’s slapped me because I wasn’t expecting this from her. My sister yes, because she’s a pain in my ass and always up in my shit, even when I tell her to get out of it.
“Did it ever occur to you that all those women were my way of trying to get over you? You told me not to wait for you, Ash. You told me to move on and so I tried. I tried and I couldn’t find one woman that held a candle to you.” She pauses, her body locked as I search her eyes.
“Kacey, I don’t know what to say. The way Kelsey framed it made it seem like you were going through women faster than she could keep up.” I sigh, realizing my sister did more damage than I thought.
“So, you’re basing your opinion of me on my sister’s skewed view of my dating life?” I accuse, hating the tone of my voice but needing answers.
“How else am I supposed to see it? Huh, Kace? You’ve been with a different girl every time I talk to your sister, which is at least once a week, and yet you stand there and say you want to be with me forever? When was the last time you had a relationship last more than a few weeks?” Fuck. She’s right.
“So what if I haven’t been in a serious relationship before? What does that have to do with me wanting to be with you now?” She rolls her eyes as if the answer is staring me in the face and I’m too blind to see it.
“If you’ve never been with a woman for more than a few weeks, how do you expect me to believe that you can promise me forever?” I go to say something, but she shakes her head. “I won’t lie to you and tell you I don’t want you because I do. But I can’t set myself up for the aftermath when you decide I’m no longer worth the effort.”
And with that she walks away, leaving me to pick up the pieces of my own shattered heart.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
ASHLEY
“Why did you convince me to come to this?” I mutter as we line up to get our lifejackets. Off in the distance, I can hear the rippling waters, the ones we will be traveling down on an inflatable boat with a bunch of other crazy people. They told me it was going to be a relaxing river tubing excursion, but from what I can hear, the water doesn’t sound all that relaxing.
“It’s going to be fun. Stop being such a worrier.” I take a breath, reminding myself that I need to get out more and experience life to its fullest even though my head is nowhere near here right now. It’s back on the boat, thinking about my conversation with Kacey and how we left things. I want to believe that I’m the one who will change him. I want to be the one who makes him realize that forever is as easy as breathing but the small part of me that heard every detail of his love life from Kelsey reminds me that reality is a lot different than the fairy tale I’ve orchestrated in my head.
“If I get hurt on this excursion, I will say ‘I told you so’ for the rest of the trip.” Kelsey rolls her eyes and grabs a lifejacket from the tour guide and then hands me mine. Out of the corner of my eyes, I see a flash of white and when my head swirls around my mouth gapes open because standing not too far from me is a woman in a full-on wedding dress.
“Holy shit, look at that,” I mutter, admiring the dress because it’s beautiful, but also wondering why she would wear it on something like this where it’s guaranteed to get ruined.
“She’s doing a wreck the dress thing,” Kelsey says, seeing where my eyeline is pointed and smiling. “Her fiancé left her or something and she had already bought the dress.”
