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“I know you would have been happy for us, and that is part of the reason I wanted to keep this to ourselves for a while. I love you, sweetie, you’re like a sister to me but your insistence over the years that your brother and I get together, and me becoming your sister in real life, put a lot of pressure on me. What happens if it doesn’t work, what happens if it does work? Your voice was always in my head, and I wanted to figure it all out on my own.”
“So, what is going on between you two then?” Kelsey asks, crossing her arms over her chest, the anger boiling. “Because from what I just saw in the water and just a few minutes ago, I’d say you’re pretty close.” Ashley looks over at me, a slight blush on her cheeks and that sly smile peeking through as I step forward, taking her hand in mine and looking my sister in the eyes.
“We’re figuring it out.”
“What the fuck does that even mean!” Kelsey mutters, a few people looking our way.
“It means that Kacey and I are testing us out, seeing how we fit, and going from there.”
Kelsey rolls her eyes but Ashley continues, “Kels, I won’t lie to you. I really like your brother and I’m pretty sure he likes me too.” I give her a wink before she looks back at my sister. “But we’re on vacation, Kacey lives on a boat for six months of the year and in a state I don’t live in the other six months. It’s complicated and we haven’t figured out all the details yet.” The reality of our situation hits my chest and it takes my breath away. She’s right. It’s very complicated and I seemed to have forgotten that with everything else that’s been going on.
“I need to leave,” Kelsey mutters before turning around and heading towards the guy who looks as uncomfortable as I feel right now.
“Kels wait,” Ashley says before taking her hand and stopping her in her tracks. “Will I see you tonight? We can have some drinks at the pub and then talk?” The hope in Ashley’s voice breaks me because I know what’s coming. My sister isn’t one to get over her emotions that quickly and when I see her shake her head, my stomach sinks.
“I need some space.” Ashley deflates in front of my eyes as Kelsey twists her hand out of Ashley’s grip. “It might be best for you to stay with my brother tonight.” And with that final note, she walks away, leaving us standing there alone and I know from this moment on, nothing will be the same.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
ASHLEY
I feel numb.
The bliss I experienced in that ocean, being carried in Kacey’s arms, disappears as I watch Kelsey walk away, the image of her tear-stained cheeks haunting my memories. How could something go from one extreme to the other in a matter of minutes? How could my ultimate fear happen right in front of my eyes and there was nothing I could do to stop it?
That’s not true, there was something I could have done to stop it, but I chose to listen to those fears and hide my feelings for Kacey and our budding romance, thinking it was the smart thing to do. Instead, it was the opposite.
“You okay?” Kacey whispers, intertwining his fingers with mine and my eyes go where they’re connected. I know I should pull away from him, tell him that we’re over and that I was right all along; us being together is tearing apart everything I know and love. But I can’t. I’m falling in love with him and even after these last few days, I know things will never be the same. Knowing his touch, knowing the sounds he makes while he’s inside me are things I just can’t forget. Those are details that will stay with me forever and right now I don’t want to give them up.
“I’ve been better,” I admit, his sad eyes meeting mine and I look over to where I thought Kelsey would be, but she’s gone. “This is all my fault,” I whisper as Kacey’s hands grasp the sides of my face and bring his lips to mine.
“Baby no, none of this is your fault.” My head shakes, my fingers holding on to his wrists, cementing myself because a part of me thinks that if I don’t, I might drift away. “What happened today was bad, I won’t lie to you. But she’ll get over it. She’ll see that we’re happy and after a few hours she’ll realize she overreacted and will come crawling back for forgiveness.” Kacey lightly kisses my forehead and drops his hands to my shoulders. “Now, the big question is, do you want to go back in the water or make our way back to the boat?” His cheeky smile tells me he’s trying to lighten the mood, and as much as I want to hug him for it, it’s not working.
“Would you hate me if I told you I wanted to go back to the boat and watch TV for a bit?” He shakes his head, giving me a peck on the lips before peering down at my arms and carefully unwrapping my tattoo.
“We can do whatever you want baby, but I’ll have to go to work when we get back, just to give Reg a break.” I nod, understanding and also thankful for the time alone. “Come on, let’s head back.” And we do, silently, as my mind meticulously goes over every detail of the last hour and wonders how I’m going to make this right.
* * *
Kacey has been gone for a while. He messaged me that he’d be back in a few hours since he offered to close the shop. I don’t blame him, Reggie has given him so much time to spend with me, that he deserves some time to himself as well. I get it and I’m thankful to Reg for that, but as I sit here alone in his room, knowing I can’t go back to my own because my best friend hates me and wants nothing to do with me, is causing my brain to malfunction.
I take a shower, brush my hair, dry my hair, and even put it in French braid pigtails, which something I haven’t done since I was a teenager because it took up so much time. Now I’m staring at the TV, watching the same rerun of Friends I’ve seen a thousand times and wondering if I should just give up and go to sleep.
All of a sudden my phone goes off, and I roll my eyes wondering what Kacey wants now. Every few minutes he texts me new jokes or videos he’s found on the internet thinking it will cheer me up. If I’m being honest, it’s working. But it’s not Kacey’s name that comes up, it’s Kelsey’s, and my heart starts beating out of my chest.
Kelsey: You can come get your luggage out of our room. I’ll be staying at Mike’s for the night.
That’s it.
That’s all it says and my heart deflates. Does she really hate me so much that she can’t even look at me while I get my things?
Me: Are you going to avoid me for the rest of the trip?
I ask, baiting her to talk to me, and it works because I see the three little dots appear telling me she’s responding.
Kelsey: That’s not my intention but I’m so mad right now that I can’t even look at you.
Those words cut me deeper than I expect and tears begin to form behind my eyes. How did we get to this place? Oh yeah, my stupid idea was to hide everything from her.
