AllFreeNovel
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That’s a dangerous kind of devotion I’ve never experienced. Girls have always been a means to getting off and having fun. Never this intense storm of emotions I can hardly pick apart.
Learning to trust her is scary enough. But wanting her? I can’t escape it.
Thea turns around and comes to stand between my knees. I swallow, cupping the back of her legs. Looking up at her, I skim my fingertips beneath the hem of her skirt. She shivers, placing her hands on my shoulders.
“You want to do more dirty things to me.” She says it lightly.
“I do.” I squeeze the back of her thighs, trailing my touch higher and closing my knees to trap her. “Very dirty things. They involve my tongue and your pussy until I have you crying my name.”
She combs her fingers through my hair, dragging her nails gently over my scalp. Holy fuck, it feels good. My eyes fall shut and I release a soft groan, leaning into her body.
“We won’t do anything else unless we’re together. For real.”
“Thea,” I say firmly. “I told you, I don’t do—”
“Girlfriends. I know.” She stops touching me and pulls out of my arms. That mutinous fire is in her eyes again, challenging me. “You want me? Then date me. I’m not your hookup, and I’m not faking anything else for you, Connor Bishop.”
God, I love it when she says my whole name all indignant and stubborn like that.
With a heavy sigh, I get up to stalk away, hoping to clear my head. It doesn’t help; I can still smell sugar cookies and cinnamon. I peel out of my evergreen Silver Lake High soccer zip up and toss it aside.
“If it’s because you’re afraid, because of the thing with your mom…” She trails off with a conflicted look when I whirl around. “I just—we aren’t our parents. Whatever their mistakes and shortcomings are, those aren’t automatically ours, too.” She blows out a breath. “I mean, I hope I never turn out like my mom.”
She doesn’t want to be like her mom. My heart thuds. It’s the last fear holding me back with her.
I rub my forehead. Damn her solid logic and reasoning. I don’t want to explain my family shit right now.
On top of that, I’m nothing but corruption. I would only taint her with it. Break her.
Staying away from her is too hard. I’m drawn back, taking her by the shoulders. The scent of whatever she’s been baking today wraps around me. I lean in, needing to taste her lips.
“I told you.” Thea pokes me in the chest to stop me, her voice quiet but not giving an inch. “I’m not the same as you. I can’t turn it on and off. I like you. You blackmailed and bullied me, and I still like you, because under all that bravado for your reputation, you’re hiding the guy you really are.”
“I’m not. You’re wrong. What you see is who I am. I lied to you. Tricked you because it amused me.”
She tilts her head, studying me through her lashes. “You’re not as cruel as you pretend to be. If you were, you wouldn’t have cared what happened to me at the benefit. Even though you made me go. You put yourself between me and anyone else, keeping me safe in your own way.” Sighing, she bows her head. “It’s why I want this. Us. But if this is all fake for you, then I’m out of here.”
Panic surges as Thea slips out of my grasp, turning toward the door.
“Wait.” I grab her wrist. My voice is hoarse and my thoughts race with the burst of adrenaline coursing through my system. “Just—wait. It’s not…I do want you.” I push my other hand through my hair. “But I don’t know how to have a girlfriend either, sunshine. I’ve only ever gone to girls for sex.”
There’s a long beat where she gives me her back, and I think she’s going to wrench away to leave anyway. Relief pours through me as she turns to face me.
“We’ll figure it out together. I’m sure we’ll mess up, but I want to do it with you.”
My throat grows tight. Why is this so hard?
Just take, like you always have.
I can’t though.
“I’ll corrupt you.” Shaking my head, I step back, releasing her wrist so she can escape me. “I’m not good, Thea. I’m messed up.”
I’m so fucked up
in my shadows playing god that I spied on her. Toyed with her.
“Isn’t that my choice to make? Besides, haven’t you already shown me the dark side?”
