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And what if it never changes?
Emotion and logic were at battle, fighting between what was right and wrong, while Peter rose from the couch with a casual flair.
“Well, I have to get ready for work,” he announced.
“Seriously?”
He chuckled, disbelieving. “Yeah, seriously. Someone needs to make money around here,” he joked, flicking at my already-fragile mind.
It needled at my brain how he could easily get ready for work like it was any other Wednesday, like he hadn’t just asked me to remove a person of such importance from my life.
“What am I supposed to say to him?” I asked, ignoring the snide jab at my lack of employment.
Wearing a sleeveless Guns N’ Roses T-shirt that didn’t fit his personality any more than his taste in music, Peter shrugged. “I mean, I guess you don’t have to say anything at all. I don’t really care if you still talk to the guy.” He reconsidered the statement for a moment with a drop of his head and a sigh, then continued, “Well, that’s not entirely true either. Idocare, and I would prefer you didn’t, but I can make that compromise if you don’t see him. I don’t trust he won’t pull some shit when I’m not around.”
What Peter wasn’t saying, what he wouldn’t say, was that he didn’t trustme. It should give me pause and make me reconsider the whole damn relationship because if you didn’t have trust, what else was there?
But instead, I agreed to his rigorous request—as harsh as it seemed. Because in some ways, it felt like keeping the best of both worlds—or at least, that was what I told myself at the time. It made Peter happy, which made me happy, and we moved on together like nothing had happened. We began our day as the content couple we had been yesterday morning, neither of us realizing that he had every right not to trust Dylan or me.
Especially me.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Dylan
Dad’s fingers drummed against the kitchen table as I strummed the guitar. The faces of my bandmates and Devin O’Leary filled the computer screen, their expressions ones of focus and intent. Then, I closed my eyes to the kitchen and their watchful eyes and began to sing.
And when you’re alone,
And he’s no longer home,
And I’m thirty-five hundred miles away,
I hope you’ll think of me,
And all of the chances you foolishly threw away.
Because I could love you better than him,
I could love you more than he will.
And when you come back to me,
Fucking come back to me,
I know I’ll be loving you still.
Because while you were chasing a normal life,
I was only chasing you.
You broke me,
You changed me, you lit my darkened heart.
I just wish you could’ve changed what you wanted too.
My chest felt tight with something I now believed to be heartache as I strummed the final chords until they faded into the background of chirping birds from the open dining room window. Dad reached out to pat my shoulder in some display of support, as if I needed it, while the guys nodded and offered a small, quiet smattering of applause.
