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You know those moments when you think about what you should have done after the fact? Yeah, that was one of those moments. I could have asked him about my father or had him give me the information he wanted to tell Cassian. Isn’t that what a luna would do?
But I wasn’t a luna. Not really. I was just some half-blood who wanted to belong, please her mate, and help those who didn’t want her help.
Desperate. God, I sounded desperate.
Hanging up the phone? Not the best impression to leave as a luna.
The after-guilt was hitting me hard, and I did the only thing my pathetic brain would allow me to do. I sobbed, hard.
I had a full-on ugly cry, heaving loudly and wailing in defeat. My one attempt at genuinely being a luna, and I screwed it up royally. Now what? Should I call them back and apologize? Lie and tell them the line went dead? Maybe I could explain the situation, and they’d pity the poor luna, who had not even the slightest clue what she was supposed to do. Or maybe, calling them back would make everything worse, and I should leave it to Cassian to handle. He was the alpha, after all.
After a few minutes of crying until my face puffed up, swollen, and red, Sam knocked on the door to the office. “Uh… Emily? Are you, uh, okay?”
Poor guy, now I’d made him feel uncomfortable because I couldn’t get a grip.
“Yeah,” I croaked out, choking on my snot.
“I’m opening the door,” he said, turning the knob slowly. He stepped inside, taking a seat in the chair on the opposite side of the desk.
I wiped the tears from my face, trying to appear as put together as possible, though I knew from the expression on his face that I was seriously lacking. “I’m sorry. I know I must look ridiculous as a luna right now.”
“No, not at all. Cassian had a similar freakout when he became alpha. Don’t tell him I told you this, but he expected Grace would be the alpha role in the pack. So when she turned it down, he believed he had to be the perfect alpha to make up for it. He worked so hard to prove himself, he got so burned out that he made a few minor mistakes and then had an outburst much like yours. It took Tiny and Gus to calm him down and guide him.
“But that’s what I’m here for—to guide you until Cassian returns. Don’t worry about getting it all right on the first go. You’re bound to make mistakes. Even the most seasoned alphas do it. The important thing is to have the pack’s best interest at heart. As long as you have that, you’re worthy of the title as luna.”
I bit my lip to hold back the tears, nodding silently.
Cassian called Sam’s phone, and Sam put him on speaker so I could hear the conversation. Cassian said they had Morgan and were coming back to the warehouse. When Sam asked him where they found her, he said he’d explain everything when he got home. After telling me he couldn’t wait to see me, he said he’d be home in a few hours and hung up.
“So, if I’m the luna, then why does Cassian call you? Is it because he doesn’t think I can handle it?”
Sam shook his head. “He probably couldn’t reach you on your phone, so he called mine.” He shrugged, turning away. “Don’t think too hard on it. You’re doing fine as luna. So just relax, Emily.”
“Yeah, okay.” I nodded, agreeing with him—no need to get sucked into my own despair.
Sam left the office, and my hand hovered over the landline. Should I call the Ash Hounds back? That’s what a true luna would do. I wanted to prove to Cassian that I could be the luna he believed me to be. But a part of me—that nasty doubt—kept crawling back and insisted Cassian would’ve called me about Morgan if he did.
