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She laughs.
Joy overspills my heart, and I laugh too. “I was really sort of fearing for my life there. It was a level of insanity completely unprecedented in my experience.”
“Oh, so the earth moved for you too?” she teases, kissing my cheeks one after the other.
“Yeah, that.”
“I love you, Jordan.”
I open my eyes to look at her. She’s smiling. My heart expands so much that my chest hurts, and I touch her face. “Told you there was no going back.”
She nods, and an expression I don’t recognize flits across her face.
“What was that thought?”
She shrugs. Looks down at my chest, at where she’s doodling on my skin with her forefinger.
I’m silent for a moment. So is she. The birds chirp. “So,” I press again, “what do you really think? I’m serious, Ains. This is me. You have to talk to me.”
She sighs. Takes a deep breath. “Okay. Jordan…I’m scared.”
I stroke her hair. “Of what?”
“That this won’t last. It’s good, it’s so good, so fucking good…I swear I’ve never had sex like this, not like this where it’s crazy and out of control and I can’t be sensible, I want to keep fucking you until we both pass out.” She looks up at me, her eyes worried. “I just think it can’t last. And then where will we be? Because I don’t have another best friend. I don’t want another best friend. I want you.”
I lift her hand and kiss it. “Well, I think we’d survive passing out from ecstasy. Sounds like hashtag-relationship-goals to me, to be honest.”
She snorts out a laugh.
I take one second to glance at her lovely breasts, their nipples tiny and beige-pink. “God, these are so gorgeous.” I give each one a little tease. “But seriously, Ainsley, you’re worried because it’s ‘too good’? I don’t think there’s any such thing.”
She just looks at me with those beautiful brown eyes.
I open up more. “It’s never been like this for me before, either. I don’t usually act like a caveman, tossing people on beds and positioning them however it occurs to me and saying whatever naughty things come into my brain. You make me crazy, Ains. I have no inhibitions…with you. I feel safe with you. I can say anything or do anything, and you won’t let me hurt you. You’ll tell me if I do something you don’t like.”
She blinks.
“You know you will,” I say. “And it will still be okay because you know that what I want is to make you happy.” I smooth her hair back from her forehead. “I love you. I’ve always loved you. Now would you like some breakfast, or do you want to shower first? And what do you want to do today?”
Then she smiles. A real smile, not a shy one or an awkward one or one that says she’s covering up anything she feels.
“You’re right,” she says. “You can’t hurt me because I won’t let you. And I can’t hurt you, because you won’t let me, either.” She leaps off the bed. “Last one in the shower’s a rotten egg!”
It’s good in the shower, too.
