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"What are you talking about? You've always protected me, P'Kao."
"Not from him." Kao spat the words out like they were poison on his lips. "I didn't protect you from him."
I didn't need our twin connection to know who Kao was referring to. "For the last time, you didn't know what Wayne was doing to me, so you couldn't have been able to protect me."
"I may not have seen it, but I could feel it." Kao pressed his fist against his heart. "We're twins, Kai. I felt your pain. I felt how much he was hurting you, and how emotionally broken you were, yet I did nothing about it."
Kao's eyes were watering up, as were mine as I replayed the memories of my adopted father's abuse and how his wife let it happen. I never understood why Wayne singled me out. He blatantly ignored Kao, but found me an easy target to harass, slap around, and throw things at while spouting cruel and vulgar names my way. He always made sure to never hit my face. Every bruise and cut he made were covered by my clothes. It was why he always made me wear long sleeves and jeans. I was still developing my shifter genes, so my healing wasn't as fast as it was now. He didn't know Kao and I were shifters, so he was always curious why I was able to heal so fast for someone my age.
Then came the night of the full moon, the Blood Moon.
"We were ten, P'Kao," I said. "There was no way you could've fought him off."
"I could've shifted," Kao protested. "I could've scratched his face off."
"And you would've exposed us to humans, and who knows what would've happened to us then," I countered.
Kao opened his mouth to try to retaliate but then closed it when he had no comeback.
I shook my head. "I was the one who messed up. I was the one who became a monster, not you."
"You're not a monster," Kao said, gripping my shoulders and turning me to face him. Though his eyes were watery, they held a fire of determination in their depths. "You wished for strength because you were scared, injured, and you wanted to stop hurting. You defended yourself when Wayne could've killed you. That does not make you a monster, Kai."
I knew what he said made sense in general, but it was easier for him to see it that way. He wasn't the one who regained consciousness with blood all over his hands and mouth. He wasn't the one responsible for Wayne and Bianca lying dead on the floor. There was so much blood. I could still taste the metallic tang on my tongue. I could still feel the bits of torn flesh under my fingernails. I had done that to them, and I could've done that to Kao back then.
And I could do that to Rosie and the others.
"Don't," Kao growled, sensing what I was thinking. "You would never hurt us, especially Rosie."
That was my biggest fear, I was terrified of hurting the people I loved. I meant it when I told Rosie I loved her, how could I not? On top of being beautiful, she was the only woman who bothered to give me the time of day. She awoke feelings in me I never thought I'd feel in this lifetime. When she mentioned wanting Kao too, I was afraid that she would end up loving him more and wouldn't want me for a mate anymore, but she had enough love in her heart to have both of us. In more ways than one. She didn't even laugh at me being a virgin. She was the absolute love of my life. All my life, I was a lone wolf howling with longing for someone to mate with, and somehow, she became the moon who illuminated the dark loneliness in my heart.
That was why I was afraid of being the thing that would snuff out her light.
Kao and I sat in silence the rest of the drive. There was nothing more I could say, but that didn't stop me wondering about the Blood Moon and the woman who was chosen for its gift. What was the name again? Mona Cattaneo? Why did that name ring a bell?
The sound of a horn honking ahead of us caught our attention. Kao and I stuck our heads out to see Raph behind the wheel of the truck in front of us, his hand stretched out the window giving us a thumbs up. That was the signal for making it to our destination. Our three vehicles pulled up at what looked to have been a local breakfast place. It made me think of my old job at Joan's back in Kingsrose. Thankfully I was smart enough to inform her of my absence when we first started planning on leaving Kingsrose. I missed Joan and the diner. At least I was able to cook for everyone while on this camping trip. Maybe one day I could open my own restaurant.
We all hopped out and gathered around the front. Rosie immediately fell in between Kao and I, her gaze scanning us.
"Are you two okay?" she asked us.
"We're fine," Kao said nonchalantly.
Rosie scowled at him. "Look, I'm trying to respect you guys' privacy, but we're fully mated together now. I can sense the turmoil in your souls. I don't know what's so bad that you feel you have to keep it to yourselves, but I don't like it. There shouldn't be secrets between us."
"This coming from the woman who kept her little adventure with Atropos from us?" Kao challenged with his arms crossed.
Rosie narrowed her eyes. "I told you guys about it, didn't I?"
"And I'll tell you about this as well," I cut in. "Just not right now, okay? I just need time, Rosie."
Rosie studied me for a heartbeat. "You promise to tell me about it?"
I pulled her closer and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. "I promise, my love."
She relaxed in my hold and kissed me back, thankful she wouldn't fight me over this. I didn't know how I was going to tell her, but she was right. She was my mate and deserved to know the truth. I only hope she wouldn't turn me away once she knew about my inner monster.
"Are you lovebirds done yet? Because the rest of us are hungry over here!" Del called out while Javier held the door open. Most of the guys already went inside and the three of us were still outside.
