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For me, the extended time worked to my advantage. It meant more time to finally start my own training. There was no denying I was the weakest among our little group, even with the berserker rage. I was grateful that Joaquin accepted my request to train me. Kao was on the other side of the field training with Raph and Byron. Javier, Del and the rest of her men were sparring with each other. As for Rosie, she sat on the sidelines with Rowan and Roxanne, watching as Joaquin worked with me. They were mainly there to make sure I didn't lose control and fall into the berserker's crimson rage.
"Come on, Kai, you got this!" Rosie cheered me on. Having such a supportive mate helped to keep me grounded.
Doing what Rowan suggested before we started, I closed my eyes to take a deep breath, calming my racing heart and keeping myself centered. When I was ready, my eyes shot open, and I charged at Joaquin. He saw it coming and feigned right when I threw a punch. Joaquin grabbed my outstretched arm and flipped me on my ass in one fluid motion. The landing had my whole body shaking, my teeth gritting as I hissed from the pain.
"Your moves are too easy to read, Kai. The element of surprise is your best friend in a fight. Learn to take advantage of it," Joaquin said before stepping back to give me strength.
I could feel the berserker rage fighting to reach the surface, sensing my frustration, and threatening to tether itself to it and overpower me. I pushed back against it, resisting the heated pull. My heart thumped hard in my chest as I mentally fought back.
"Calm yourself, Kai," I heard Rowan call out.
"Remember, you're in control," Roxanne added.
I was in control.I chanted that in my head repeatedly as I felt the tight grip from the berserker rage loosen its hold. I took deep breaths, my body relaxing and my mind clearing. In the month since I started my training, learning to resist the berserker rage had proven to be the hardest part. It was so easy to get upset or frustrated when I found myself lacking, or when I felt I wasn't improving. Those moments of weakness were what the berserker was hoping to exploit. Rowan and Roxanne had to interfere and force me back into control a handful of times. Which was why they were here now, even though Rowan should've been helping Rosie with her own training. I hated feeling like I was holding her back.
"You're not holding me back," Rosie assured me after the first five days of my training. It was sunset, and I felt bruised and tired after getting pummeled to the ground by Joaquin and Rowan. Needing to clear my head after Rowan and Roxanne pulled me back to consciousness when my Berserker Wolf was on the loose, I decided to walk through the rose bushes. The crisp clear air permeated with the floral scent of the roses, and it helped to center me. Rosie jogged to catch up to me, wanting to make sure I was okay.
"But if Rowan is too busy making sure to keep my wolf on a leash, that's less time he has to work with you. You need to learn to control the Wolf Moon’s gift."
"And I learning how to do that, Kai. Just because we spend an hour or two at least to keep an eye on you doesn't mean I'm not doing my part."
I frowned, keeping my eyes trained on the open path in front of me. "It sucks," I muttered.
"What does?" Rosie asked.
"I'm twenty-six, Rosie. I should've already known how to fight. How to defend myself. But I'm no better than a pup right now."
Rosie reached out to take my hand in hers. "You give yourself too little credit. You forget most pups spend their entire lives in a pack learning to train and hone their skills. You weren't given that luxury, remember?"
I nodded. "I guess."
"You're making up for lost time, and despite what you may think, you are making progress. Even Kao was able to get better with time. Be patient, Kai."
"We don't have time for patience," I argued. "What if Pierce shows up and we're not ready?"
I didn't know Rosie stopped following me until I felt a pull on my arm. I looked back to see I was four steps ahead of her. I deflated at the sight of her stern expression. She took the necessary steps to reach my personal space. "This pack isn't just you," she stated flatly. "We're a team, Kai. Whatever happens, whenever Pierce decides to show himself, we'll be ready for it. Stop acting as if we'll all collapse if you're not strong enough."
That wasn't what I was most worried about. My biggest concern was making sure nobody tried to kill me and use my powers to kill everyone else. I wasn't the one who had the vision of the monster tearing into us, and yet I carried it with me because my survival could be the key to whether that vision would come true or not.
"Stop it," Rosie snapped me out of it by smacking my chest. "You forget I'm connected to your mind. I know what you're thinking about. Your survival may be a factor, but it isn't the only factor."
"But—"
"No buts," Rosie cut in, then shut me up with a kiss. "We all need to survive this war, and we will. It's time we stop self-doubting ourselves and act like real alphas. We need to count on each other, just as our pack is counting on us. There's nothing wrong with getting stronger, but there's also nothing wrong with depending on us. You protect us, we protect you. That's how it works, understand?"
I nodded because there was no point in arguing. She made a lot of sense but turning off my fears wasn't as simple as that. What I could control was my training, which was why I spent the month working on getting stronger with Joaquin's assistance and Rosie's support.
When I felt in control again, I exhaled and stood back up. "Let's go again."
"You sure?" Joaquin asked.
My answer was getting back into fighting position. Joaquin prepared his stance, waiting for me to make the first move. Normally I would charge right away, but Joaquin mentioned the element of surprise being my best friend. I didn't want to go full speed ahead and have him predict my moves. I needed to do better. I took a moment to calculate my options and come up with a plan of attack. When I had something in mind, I charged. I pulled my right fist back as if I was going to throw it when I was close enough. Joaquin scowled and swerved left as predicted. As soon as he did, I swung my left fist instead. To my pleasure, Joaquin posture stiffened when he noticed the blow coming. I thought that meant I would strike him, but he reached out and clutched my fist in his open palm.
Not yet!
I grabbed his arm like he did to me before, twisted my body around and threw him over and off my back. Joaquin landed on his back with a thud, anoomphsound spilling from his mouth. I stood there hunched over, breathing heavily like I ran a marathon. Joaquin seemed stunned at first, but then he flipped himself back to his feet then gave me a huge smile.
"Nice work, Kai!" He beamed. "Even when you were caught off guard, you remembered what I did, and mimicked the flip in retaliation. That was quick thinking."
