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"Oh, Rosie," Rowan whispered my name as he reached up running his fingers along my cheek. It was intimate, but not in a sexual way. More romantically, which had my heart filling. "There is nothing I would enjoy more than to call this place home. But I know what you're also implying."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean that I know you'd like for me to be your fourth mate."
The way my insides chilled when he exposed my hidden desire had me wanting to backtrack so fast. I knew this conversation would've happened sooner or later, but I didn't think it would happen like this. And not when it felt like I was seconds away from being disappointed.
"But... you don't want to be my mate, do you?" I asked, ready to rip the bandage off and get the rejection over it. The irony of that didn't go unnoticed. This journey of mine began because I rejected my fated mate. Now I was about to be rejected by a man I wanted to be my chosen mate.
The somber look on his handsome face was a dead giveaway that his answer wouldn't be one I wanted to hear. "It's not that I don't want to be. It's more that I can't."
I furrowed my brow in confusion. "Why?"
"Because I already have the Wolf Moon's gift inside me, from Marissa. You need four mates who don't have the gift in him, so you can link the gift inside you to them. It won't work on someone who's gift is already linked to another, even if she's dead."
I was conflicted by his explanation. On the one hand, I was disappointed that he was essentially unqualified to be mine since he was chosen by another in his generation. Stupid rules. But I was also slightly relieved that he couldn't be mine because he didn't want me. Did that mean he did want me, but couldn't have me? I mentally groaned. For a gift that seemed to be all about choices, it sure as hell was contradicting itself by not letting me choose Rowan.
"I see," I mumbled, not even bothering to hide the disappointment in my tone.
"Look at me." I did as he said and waited. "Make no mistake, Rosalinda Mendoza, you are beautiful, alluring, smart, and determined with a heart of gold. Any man would be lucky to have you. Being one of your mates would've been a great honor, and one I would happily accept if I could. I'm sorry that I can't be him."
I didn't expect his declaration to hurt more than a rejection. I was still unable to claim someone I wanted, but for a different reason. One that was leaving us both yearning for something we couldn't have.
"I wish it could be you," I whispered. "It's not fair that it can't be you."
"I know, and I wish things could be different too. Maybe in our next life, our paths would cross. And in that lifetime, I will do everything I can to make you mine." Rowan brought his head down and left a featherlight kiss to my lips. It was chaste, and airy, but it still caused my body to vibrate with want.
I sighed, pushing a lock of my hair behind my ear. "Damn it. We have an important war to prepare, and I still don't have my fourth mate. What am I going to do?"
"You sure you don't have your fourth mate?" Rowan asked.
"Huh?" My brow furrowed as I tried making sense of his question. "Yeah, I'm sure since you can't be my fourth."
"But I wasn't your only option you've considered, am I?"
An image of Byron flashed in my mind, and with it came a wave of crystal clarity.
"Byron." I spoke his name softly.
Rowan nodded knowingly.
Byron was meant to be one of my mates this whole time. It seemed unlikely since he was trying to get me to accept Pierce in the beginning, but he was always there whenever I showed up at the lodge. He was always watching me. Then he came to his senses, realizing how cruel Pierce was, and since then, it felt like everything was falling into place.
"I believe it has always been your destiny to choose him as your mate," Rowan said.
"It seems like it," I said numbly, needing a moment to process that. I frowned. "But what about you?"
"My purpose for surviving this long has been to meet the newest Queen of Wolves and guide her towards her destiny. In some twisted way, I could consider it Fate."
"Roxanne did say Fate had a tendency to contradict itself. That our gifts had the power to open new doors to our potential futures. More than what we were given at birth."
"And she's right. We may never know what path in life Fate had in store for you, but Selene forged a new path for you to take, and that's the road you're walking down now. She made you into the Queen of Wolves. Hers and her mates' legacy. Embrace it."
No pressure, right? While I was still bummed about not being able to choose Rowan, I couldn't deny that Byron was also someone I considered. Now that I know in my heart it was meant to be him, I knew he and I had a lot to talk about. "I know it's right, but it feels wrong."
"Why do you say that, milady?"
"Me going to Byron after learning you can't be chosen. Wouldn't that make him a rebound or something? I don't want that for him."
