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To make matters worse, her shouting got the attention of the rest of the kitchen staff who were all encouraging me to dance with Grandma. Rolling my eyes, I decided to surrender went over to her. Before we knew it, we were shuffling our feet, shaking our asses, and having a grand ole time. The staff began clapping and chanting which only egged us on further. Grandma eventually stepped away to give me the spotlight, reminding me of how much I loved to dance. I haven't done much dance videos since leaving Kingsrose. It was the last thing on my mind considering everything else that needed to be top priority. For a few seconds, I was putting all of that aside. Rather than being an alpha, I was a dancer again. Maybe Abuelita knew this was what I needed.
When the song ended, I struck a pose, and everybody cheered. I was slightly shy, but on the inside, I was hyped. If we survived this war, I wanted to continue with dancing. I wanted to see if I could pay for the abandoned ballet studio and turn it into a dance studio. I wanted to do something that made me feel whole again. I knew the flower arrangement and event planning was the pack's main job, but I had three mates. Hopefully four. Maybe one of them could run the business and I run mine. It would be something to talk to the boys about. Once we get Kai back, and once I try to get some alone time with Byron to talk to him. Those thoughts killed the vibe a bit.
"Baby, you're still as talented as ever," Grandma said, pulling in for a hug.
"Thanks, Grandma." I hugged her back gently.
When we pulled apart, I could tell she sensed my good mood dropping. "You okay, Rosie?"
I was for like five seconds until reality hit me like car crash. I didn't want to dump all my problems on her. I should be able to handle it on my own. I was alpha now. It was my responsibility.
"NeNe, I know things look bad right now, but I believe if anybody can turn this around, it's you," Grandma said as she brushed a lock of hair away from my eyes.
"I wish I could believe that. I've been an alpha for what, like two months?" I sighed. "So far I haven't been doing such a great job."
"What are you talking about? You're doing a great job. Honey, I'm so proud of how hard you and your boys have been working."
Was she serious? How could she think I was doing a great job? I held up my hands like I was trying to tell her to look around us. "If I was doing such a great job, we wouldn't have lost Kai, or Thomas, or the other betas. I wouldn't be struggling to protect our territory. I wouldn't be fearing for everyone's safety. I wouldn't be—"
"Okay! Stop, stop, stop!" Abuelita hushed me. There was no point in reminding her that I was the one in charge, not her. When Grandma was around and she told you to do something, you better do it, or there would be hell to pay. "You say you wouldn't be struggling to protect your territory or worrying about everyone's safety if you were a better alpha? Rosie, those things are the exact reasons why you're a good alpha. You want to protect your home. You want to protect your pack. You give a damn what happens to us. Baby, every alpha goes through this. It's normal. It just seems overwhelming because you're still a new alpha. But give yourself more credit than that. You're doing the best you can, you understand me?"
"Yes, ma'am," I muttered softly.
"And as for Kai and the betas, we all miss them, honey. The betas are trained to go into battle to protect their pack, knowing full well that one day they may die in battle. As harsh as it sounds, it's the truth. You know that as well. But they're still alive, are they not? That means there's still a chance to bring them home. Instead of focusing on what happened, focus on what you can do to save them."
I knew looking for Grandma was a good idea. This was what I needed, reassurance from someone outside of my mates. Someone older and had far more wisdom than I had. I needed her guidance. Damn, it was good having her back.
"What if we fail?" I asked.
"You won't."
"How do you know that?"
"Because you won't let yourself fail. You're strong-willed, prideful, and smart as shit. You'll find a way to win. You've made it this far with little information to start with, and now look where you are. Look at what you've accomplished so far. Men who love you, a pack who swore their loyalty to you, and friends and family who are here to help you. They believe in you. Your pack believes in you. Why can't you?"
Because I'm afraid, I wanted to say. I was afraid of failing. Afraid of letting everyone down. Afraid that Atropos' future would come true, and if it did, and it ended being by Kai's hands, I was afraid what that would do to him. There was a lot at stake, and it was a lot to cope with.
"Rosalinda, look at me." I looked up as Abuelita wanted. She reached out and wiped the stray tear that threatened to fall. I hadn't realized I was on the verge of crying. "I know you're scared, and that's okay. You can be scared, but don't throw in the towel so soon. No matter what happens, you give it everything you got until the very end. Whether it's to save Kingsrose, or killing Pierce, or saving Kai and the betas. You do everything you can to do what needs to be done. That's what it means to be a true alpha."
"I will," I said confidently. Like hell I was going to give up. Not while my men and I were still breathing. I knew they'd feel the same way. I took a moment to pull myself together, to take a deep breath, and then hugged my grandmother once again for giving me the pep talk I desperately needed.
I said my goodbyes to her and the staff, then went out to join the rest of my pack outside. Right away, I noticed Kai sparring with Raph, and Joaquin going at it with Rowan. Del was training with Javier, and Caleb; her weapon, Artemis, whirling in her hands as her two men circled her looking for an opening to strike. Then they made their move, so did she, striking them both with a spark of magic coming from Artemis. I wondered if she ever found out about the Blue Moon, and how she was chosen by it. Maybe when this whole thing was over, I'd bring it up with her. If she didn't know, well it would sure be a hell of a shock to her.
"Rosie?" I whipped my head farther left to see Byron coming around the corner. I didn't miss how my heart skipped a beat at how bright his eyes were when they looked at me. To think this was the man who was meant to be my fourth and final mate. While I was disappointed it couldn't be Rowan, that didn't change the fact I wanted Byron too.
"Hey," I said when he jogged over to me. "Everything okay?"
"Oh yeah, I was around the back with the remaining betas. They wanted to do more sparring, but I was planning on taking a break."
Now was my chance to finally get some alone time with the man. "That's good. Um, I was about to walk around the rose fields if you'd like to join me?"
Byron's expression brightened. "Really? You wouldn't mind?"
"Of course not. I'd love your company."
"Then I'd be happy to." Byron stepped back off the steps and held out his hand for me, giving me a slight bow. "Shall we, your majesty?"
I rolled my eyes but laughed. "Okay, just because I'm a queen doesn't mean you have to call me your majesty. It's still weird."
