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Khloe straightened up, excited to be included in this grownup discussion.
“Your father was a firm believer in following his heart. I will not stand in your way whenever your heart is pulling you in a direction. I will be here to guide you, support you, and love you. Always. You need to go out and live your lives for yourselves – for the things that make you happy. But if you don’t call home every week, I promise you: I will hunt you down and I will drag you back here.”
Khloe giggled. Chase and I smiled, exchanging glances. Tanner smirked for one millisecond before standing up and walking out of the room.
Beverly held out her hands. I took one and Chase took the other. “I would never hate you. Never a day in my life. I appreciate your suggestion, Merritt, wanting to stay behind and help out. The size of your heart never ceases to amaze me. But you two should go together. I know you will take care of each other out there. Please be smart, and be careful. That’s all I ask.”
“We will.” Chase squeezed my knee.
I took a deep breath as I let Beverly’s words sink in.
Khloe jumped onto my back. “Can you give me a bath tonight, Merry?”
I stood up and spun her around. “Are you ready?”
She squealed in delight. “Let’s go!”
Upstairs, Khloe and I talked about California, and how far away it is from New York. Khloe always had intelligent questions, and she was my favorite person to have conversations with. In the time Chase and I had spent together, I grew close with his family. It would be heart wrenching to leave them behind. There had been so much loss in my life – my mom, my dad, Tim – and now the rest of the Brooks family, just when I was getting used to having a family of my own. I knew I had to leave, though. I knew I had to do it for Chase. I was following my heart – and he was my heart.
After Khloe was bathed and tucked into bed, Tanner was waiting for me in the hallway. “I just wanted to say that I appreciate you offering to stay behind.”
“I tried. I thought it was a good plan.”
“Not if you’re just looking for an excuse not to go.” His dark eyes held my gaze for a moment; he was able to call my bluff because we had the same tells. “Can I ask you something?”
I laughed. “You’re asking permission first?”
“I have manners when I want to,” he said smugly. “That was your mom yesterday?”
I leaned against the wall in the hallway. “Unfortunately, yes.”
“You were yelling pretty aggressively. I didn’t think you had it in you.”
“Oh, it’s in there. I just keep it buried inside.” I gestured with my hand. “It’s deep, deep in there.”
Tanner laughed. “That’s a healthy coping mechanism.”
“That’s what I hear.”
“It’s going to come out, you know. One day, you’re going to stuff too much inside and it’s going to overflow. You need an outlet for all that anger.”
I raised my eyebrow at him. “You’re a shrink now?”
He put his head down sheepishly as he heard his own familiar words thrown back at him. “I know I can be a bit of an asshole sometimes… but I’ve learned a lot. I mean it, Merr. You can’t bury your feelings forever.”
“Did Charlotte teach you that?” I asked with a smile.
“She taught me a lot of things.”
“She’s good for you, Tan. You deserve someone like her.”
He nodded. “Dad would have loved her.”
“He would have.”
Tanner put his big arm around my shoulders. “I kinda like having a big sister.”
I jabbed him in his side. “Good. I like having an asshole little brother.”
