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Asshole.
“It’s news to me if she did.” Kye went back to our original conversation.
“Maybe Harleigh invited him,” I said, earning me a death stare from Nix. “What? I thought you were good with Miller hanging around since you and B are so secure in your relationship.”
“You’re a real asshole sometimes, Z. You know that, right?”
I’d avoided looking at the crowd at my back as much as possible. Because I didn’t want to look forher, especially when I knew she wouldn’t be there.
It was weird—I’d never had anyone in the crowd cheering for me. Grams had done all that when I was little, but once I’d reached junior high, it got harder for her to be in crowds. I was just happy knowing she was at home, safe and comfortable. And the few times Celeste had been there with Harleigh and Chloe, I’d told myself she was an unwelcome distraction. But now she was never going to be there again, and it fucking sucked.
The fourth quarter got under way, and I watched my team kick ass. Nix was on fire, throwing the perfect ball pass after pass. The crowd was amped, aware that this was the last game until the playoffs. The win wasn’t important—we were already guaranteed a place—but to everyone supporting us, it was hopefully a sign of things to come.
I should have been celebrating with my team, excited about a shot at the championship. The chance to go end my high school football career on a high.
But I felt nothing.
Just the bitter sting of regret and the lingering sense that I’d made a huge fucking mistake.
* * *
“Didn’t expect to see you here,” I said to Nate as we joined everyone outside the building.
“What can I say? I’m a stage five clinger.”
It was a joke.
He was joking, and yet, I couldn’t help thinking back to what I’d said to Celeste on Monday.
“How is she?” The words slipped out, and Nate frowned.
“She’s been better. Listen, can we talk?”
“If this is about Celeste, I’m not—”
“It isn’t.”
“Sure, I think everyone’s heading to the res, but I need to check in on my grams first.”
“How about I give you a ride?”
“Fine.”
I didn’t have the energy to argue, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to party tonight, not when every time my friends looked at me, I felt their concern. Their disappointment.
They were worried about Leo. But they didn’t need to be. I had it under control. I was working every extra hour I could.
“We’re going to take off,” I said to no one in particular. “Miller is going to give me a ride.”
“Oh, I thought…” Chloe started, but quickly stopped herself. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Maybe we’ll stop by the res later.”
“Z, man, come on,” Kye said. “We can’t party without you.”
“I’ll be there.”
I wouldn’t. But I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. They would go to the res, the drinks would flow, and they would forget all about my sorry ass.
