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“Why not? It’s true. You were a right miserable git before she arrived. You’re not nearly as insufferable now.”
We were blaming this on Ellie.
Surely there was a way out of this for me.
“Grandma, you’re being ridiculous. It’s one thing to have this conversation when it’s just the two of us; it’s another thing entirely to have it while we have company who, might I remind you, happily allowed you to join us at the last minute for a dinner and dessert thatshewas kind enough to cook.”
Nope.
No way out.
I was well and truly in the middle of this now.
They both looked at me, and I stilled, holding the spoon in my mouth with my lips firmly around it.
Slowly, I pulled out the spoon and said around a mouthful of pie, “Please don’t bring me into this.”
Like I wasn’t already tit-deep in the conversation.
“See? She’s uncomfortable,” Max said, looking at Esme.
“She’s comfortable enough to eat!” she shot back.
I scooted my chair back and scooped Winston up from the floor next to me. “I think I’ll leave you to it.”
Max sighed. “Ellie, no, it—”
“I’m gonna go,” I said, smiling awkwardly as I stood up, cradling my cat in my arms. “Thank you for letting me use your dreamy kitchen and, uh, I hope you sort out whatever this is.” I finished with a little twirl of my finger to indicate the ‘this’ I was talking about and turned around, scurrying my very uncomfortable arse out of the dining room to where my stuff was still in the kitchen.
I was impressed I made it without getting lost.
I grabbed my handbag and rushed to the door with Winston still happily tucked under my arm like the attention whore he was. I pulled it open and stepped outside into the warm summer evening, almost blinded by the sun as it peeked through the trees.
“Ellie!”
I turned at the sound of Max’s voice.
“You don’t have to go.”
“Oh, I do,” I replied. “I know I was looking for drama like two days ago, but that’s not it.”
He winced, stepping outside and pulling the door shut behind him. “It’s… a difficult conversation, I’m sure you understand, and one she shouldn’t have brought up tonight. I’m sorry if you were uncomfortable.”
“Iamuncomfortable,” I said. “Immensely so. Whatever change you might have gone through since I arrived here is absolutely nothing to do with me. That’s all on you. I’m not here to save the grumpy reclusive duke from a dark, lonely future despite what I write in my books, nor do I have any desire to ‘change’ you to fulfil some strange fantasy.”
Winston wriggled in my arms, and I let him jump down to the ground. He’d make his way back to the lodge when he was ready to do so.
“I have changed,” Max said quietly, slowly lifting his gaze from the ground to meet mine. “You have made me look at the world differently, but it’s not because of you. You see the good in everything and always look for the bright side, and now I find myself doing the same, even when I don’t want to.Youhaven’t changed me, Ellie, but the way you live your life has.”
I swallowed, wrapping my arms around my waist.
“My grandmother is a difficult woman sometimes, just as I know I can be a difficult man,” he continued. “She means well, but her delivery of many of her opinions certainly leaves a lot to be desired.”
“No kidding.”
His lips twitched into the barest ghost of a smile. “She’s never truly accepted my decision not to marry and have a family, and I…” Max trailed off for a second before he shook his head. “I’m sure that it will continue to be a point of contention,” he said after a moment. “It doesn’t help much that she adores you.”
I stared at him, trying not to smile.Damn him. Damn my stupid heart and its stupid feelings for this stupid man.“I’m not going to pretend to understand why you want the things you want. Or don’t, as the case may be. Actually, I would ask you if I thought for a second that you’d tell me.”
