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He finally stopped walking and dropped his chin to his chest with a sigh. “You are insufferable.”
“Thank you.”
“That wasn’t a compliment.”
“I know, but life is awfully boring if you go through it being offended by everything.” I turned my face to the side so my cheek was resting against his back. “For future reference, I prefer the termpersistent.”
He shook his head. “Ellie, I… please. I don’t discuss my parents with anyone, and I need some time to process this.”
I softened my hold on him, tilting my chin downwards. “I know,” I replied gently, looking at the ground. “I just wanted to hug you.”
His shoulders fell and he brought his hands to mine, and just when I thought he was going to shove me away from him, he turned.
He wrapped his arms around me, and I reached up to circle mine around his neck, rising onto my tiptoes to meet him.
Max leant into me, burying his face into my hair. The long, ragged breath he let out was heavy with the weight of his pain, and I just hugged him tighter. We were getting soaked through by the rain, but I didn’t care. I didn’t want to let him go when I knew he was hurting so badly.
I couldn’t imagine what it felt like to live with that. Knowing that your father was responsible for your mother’s death, that one single, selfish action had left you largely alone at such a young age…
It was heartbreaking.
AndIwas the one who’d made him relive it.
“I’m sorry,” I said softly, turning my face into him. “For making you talk about it.”
“It would have happened sooner or later,” he said, pulling back just a little. “I just need a little time right now.”
“I know.” I lowered my heels down so I was no longer on tiptoes and had to tilt my head back to look up at him. “Take whatever you need,” I said softly, then reached up and gently pressed a kiss to his rough, stubbled jaw.
He smiled down at me, but there was a deep sadness in his eyes. It was the kind that was so deep-rooted that it would never truly leave, and he would carry it with him for the rest of his life, even if he was lucky enough to find peace with what had happened.
I wasn’t sure Max had.
I wasn’t sure how he was supposed to, to be honest.
“Go,” he said softly, his gaze conflicted. “Get back inside and dry off. I don’t want you blaming me if you get ill.”
“I’m the one who ran out in this rain.”
“Ellie.”
I half-pouted, half-smiled, and took a step back. Max’s hands trailed around to mine where he quickly linked them through my fingers, and before I could look down at our joined hands, he tugged me back into him, and I instinctively tilted my face up towards him.
The right decision, given the fact he touched his lips to mine.
And this kiss?Oh. It felt… real. Like there was something here, like I wasn’t the only one who was feeling something they shouldn’t have been.
The time wasn’t right to think that, but as Max pulled me in and kissed me slowly as rain trickled down my face, I couldn’t think of anything but.
I leant in and rested my hand against his cheek. As much as I wanted to stay here in this moment, feeling this insane concert of emotions that were hurtling around my body, I knew it wasn’t the right thing to do.
He needed time. He’d said as much.
And I cared about him too much not to let him have that.
“Max,” I said softly, letting my eyes flutter shut. “Stop ignoring it. I’ll still be here when you’re ready. I promise.”
“I know.” He touched his forehead to mine, and his fingertips dug into my hips where his grip tightened ever so slightly. “Right now, Ellie, you are the only thing I’m sure of.”
