AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Are you calling me a hypocrite?”
“If the shoe fits.”
“I shall beat you with that shoe, boy,” Grandma said firmly. “I don’t know what you have against that girl, but I suggest you shove it up your arse and get over it.”
I stared at her. “I don’t have anything against her. I would just prefer she keep her cat inside. I’ve worked hard on the—”
“If you bring up that ruddy bird project of yours, I will have Goatzart ram you with his horns.”
“That would be a lot more threatening without his new earrings.”
“I can slide them off, you know.”
I rolled my eyes. “You can dislike me bringing it up all you like. I’ve worked hard with the wildlife trust to increase the breeding numbers of peregrine falcons and owls in the area. A lot of the breeding pairs have young right now, and the last thing I need is a cat killing their babies.”
Grandma sighed and leaned on the gate, ignoring the way Leonardo DiCaprigoat was munching on her sleeve. “I know. You’ve done a wonderful job with it all, Max, but sometimes you cannot fight nature. Cats have a right to roam, and they’re predators.”
“Your ducklings are on that lake. Aren’t you worried about them? Rosie and the other barn cats are desensitised to our birds, but her cat is not.”
“Oh, he can try. Elvira is a right bitch when she’s got a nest or duckling. How do you think old man Horace learnt to leave them alone?” She raised her eyebrows in question. “There’s not a terrible lot you can do about Winston if he will insist on escaping, but perhapsspeakingto Ellie and explaining is better than being rude to her.”
“I don’t owe her an explanation about anything. She’s a guest on my property. It’s not the other way around.”
“And that’s your problem.” She wiggled her finger at me. “You just don’t want to strike up a friendship with her. Admit it.”
I would not.
“She’s young, she’s very pretty, and she’s extremely smart. You’d rather be rude to her so you don’t risk any kind of a relationship with a woman your age.”
“I’m not going over this again. You know my feelings on relationships, and perhaps I don’t want to be friends with her. Has it occurred to you that I simply might not click with her?”
“Max, the last thing you clicked with was a lighter when you lit the barbecue. Leonardo, that’s my sleeve, you little bastard.” She bopped the goat on the nose and freed her sleeve from his teeth in the resulting moment of confusion. “Why didn’t you tell me he was eating my sleeve? Honestly, boy. Let’s go and get some lunch before this little shit eats me to death.”
I dropped my chin to my chest as she strolled out of the barn. Vincent van Goat bleated, getting my attention, and I looked at him. He bleated again as if to say, “At least you aren’t wearing pool noodles on your horns,” and I couldn’t help but sympathise with him.
This was it.
This was my life.
Now I was sympathising with a bloody goat.
CHAPTER SIX
ELLIE
When Inspiration Strikes
Four thousand words.
I wasn’t one to brag, but that was the most I’d written in one day for about six months. There was something about being here that was reinvigorating—I didn’t know if it really was the change of scenery or the fresh air, but it was working.
My brain was kicking into gear again.
I refused to believe that the black-haired arsehole who’d returned my cat to me yesterday was a part of that inspiration.
Sure, my hero definitely now had black hair, but that didn’t mean anything. Lots of people had black hair. And blue eyes. And wore suits. And were a duke.
Maybe not the last part.
