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“Is he really called Goatzart?” I asked once Max had successfully extracted the feed bag from his chompers. “And why on Earth do they all have pool noodles on their horns?”
“Sadly, his name is Goatzart. My grandmother is rather fond of punny names—something I’m sure you share with her.”
My lips twitched. “I do enjoy them.”
“Well, that’s how we ended up with this lot. There’s Vincent van Goat, Selena Goatmez, and Goatie Hawn,” he said, pointing to the pen with the one goat I was already acquainted with. “And in here there’s Goatzart, Leonardo DiCaprigoat, Great Goatsby, Ryan Goatling, and Jean Paul Goatier.”
I dipped my chin and fought back a laugh.
Great Goatsby?
Leonardo DiCaprigoat?
It’s fine.
I was fine.
I wasn’t going to laugh.
I wasnotgoing to laugh.
Oh, God.
I was laughing.
CHAPTER EIGHT
ELLIE
Goats. Just… Goats
“Stop laughing,” Max grunted. “They’re bloody daft names.”
I pressed my lips together and tried to stop myself. It was almost impossible when faced with those names—whowouldn’tlaugh at that?
“I said stop laughing.” He moved the food sack as far away from the goats as possible.
“I can’t.” I finally let it bubble over, although I did press my hand over my mouth to muffle it. “Those are the best names ever. I thought she only had two!”
“She did only have two. Then Goatie Hawn needed rescuing, so Vincent got another friend, then all these other ones neededrescuing, too.” He dipped his hand in the feed bag and held it out for Selena Goatmez. “I’m pretty sure she just got them from some people who needed to rehome excess males after the birthing season.”
I nodded. “Still doesn’t explain the pool noodle headgear, though.”
“They’re to stop the boys fighting. They can’t hurt each other if they’re wearing foam horns, according to Grandma.” He shot me a look that said he thought she was full of shit.
“Does it work?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never seen them fight. I think she just saw it on the Internet and wanted to do it because she could. Hence the rainbow headpieces.” He motioned to the boys’ section of the barn.
They were quite fancy.
Selena Goatmez poked her head through the fence bars and licked the feed off his hand until it was all gone. Everyone else realised there was food on offer and seven other goats all shoved their heads through the bars of their respective enclosures and made snuffling noises for attention.
Max sighed. “I should have known that was a mistake.”
“Have they not been fed?”
“Oh, yes. They have troughs full of food, if you look.”
