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“Susie!” Esme scolded her. “That’s a very personal question.”
“And more common than you’d think.” I sipped.I wish I could glug. “A lot of people think those scenes are real, but I’m sorry to tell you that I am very much single and I am not getting any kind of sex like the scenes in the book.”
May balked.
“So… the vibrator scenes. Arethoseaccurate?” Dawn raised her eyebrows, tilting her head to the side.
I paused.
Apparently, that was enough for them.
Everyone but May giggled.
Was I in a book club meeting with teenagers or pensioners?
“I feel like that question says a lot more about you than me.” I winked at Dawn and sipped my gin again.
Thank God for the gin I’d sent over this morning.
Thank God even more for the bottle I’d kept for myself.
“So if you’re single, where do you get the inspiration?” Susie asked, opening the gin bottle.
I wasn’t sure they all needed anymore.
“Do you really want to know what inspires my sex scenes?” I asked uncertainly.
Susie and Dawn both nodded.
“All right.” I shrugged. “Porn.”
May spat out her drink.
Esme chuckled from next to me.
And Susie and Dawn both stared at me like I’d cursed Jesus himself.
“You asked,” I reminded them. “Also, they’re quite tricky. I’ve had a few instances of extra hands and feet, and that really kills the moment. Porn helps me figure out where all the limbs are supposed to be.”
Neither of them said anything.
“Well.” Esme shuffled forwards and put her empty glass down on the table. “That’ll teach you to be a pair of nosy old broads, won’t it?”
Dawn slowly nodded her head.
Susie tilted hers to the side. “Any good websites?”
“That’s enough of that,” May said, finally cutting in.
I gave Susie a look that said I had her back.
Hey, what she did in her own time was her business.
Besides, as someone who’d been single for four years, I was pro-masturbation.
Hell, even while I’d been in a relationship, I was pro-masturbation.
My ex couldn’t have found my clitoris if he’d put a Google Maps pin on it.
