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It grew, jumping up, and it was engulfing me.
I sunk down on Kash’s legs, and the higher that blaze built in me, the more I wanted him. But I wanted more. I wanted blood.
“I know you’ve been making moves against your grandfather, but I want in. I deserve to be in now. He took her from me. I want to rip his heart out.”
Kash’s head lowered, his eyes still holding mine. They were growing more intense as I spoke. “I can’t risk him getting his hands on you.”
“He won’t—”
“Yes!” His hand jerked from the pool wall but shook as he caught himself. Softening his touch, he traced a finger through my hair, following a strand and retucking it behind my ear. His eyes followed it, lingering on where he paused, his hand holding that piece of hair before he looked up to meet my gaze again. A hardness flashed there, one that I knew was in Kash, had seen in Kash, but he didn’t vanquish it like he had the other times.
I saw him.
I saw behind the walls he showed to everyone else, to me, to even himself.
I was seeing the real him, and he was as hungry as I was—more, even.
My lips parted at that realization.
He couldn’t have been, but no—I was thinking. I was remembering. Calhoun took both his parents from him. He had to remain hidden most of his life because of his grandfather, so in essence Calhoun had taken Kash’s normalcy, his childhood, too.
Yeah. Kash wanted to kill his grandfather just as much as I did, but I didn’t care. I wanted it for Chrissy. I needed it for Chrissy.
He dropped his hand to my shoulder, pushing the sweatshirt out of the way and then smoothing his hand down my arm. The sweatshirt was big enough that it trailed to my elbow, before a growl left Kash and he shifted. His other hand took hold of it from the other side and he whisked it up and off of me. It was tossed behind us and I was bare to him except for my sleeping shorts and tank top.
His hand continued its path, going over my arm, my hand. To my chest, down my chest. Lingering between my breasts. My top was nearly transparent, but the water swelled between us and he bent his head, his lips finding my shoulder at the same time that his hand pushed my top aside. He covered one of my breasts, his thumb rubbing over my nipple.
He moved in, his body more firmly cementing me against the wall, and I felt his heat. It melded with mine. “He can’t touch you.” He lifted his head, moving to my other shoulder, trailing to my throat. “He can’t hurt you. He can’t have you.”
My whole body shivered, and I closed my eyes, my head falling back.
His mouth moved up my throat, lingering on my jawline before sweeping to rest just over my mouth. I opened my eyes, my eyelids heavy. I was aching for him, but I was also crying on the inside. There was such agony intertwined with what he was doing to me, what he was making me feel, how much I wanted him.
His lips pressed down and he breathed into me. “He can’ttake you away from me.” His hand closed over my hips, tugging me firmly into him. “I won’t let him.” His hands came up to cradle my neck, the side of my face. His thumb moved over my cheek, holding me for him, and he raised his head. His eyes lifted, meeting mine, holding mine. He looked as haunted as me, tortured, but there was a fierceness in him that took my breath away. “I will never let him near you. Ever.” His hand started shaking, holding me captive, and he closed his eyes.
He was done.
I felt it.
He ground against me, my breath hitching at feeling how hard he was.
I always knew Kash had darkness in him. I always knew he was furious inside, but there was an animal in him. Or a monster in him, one created because of his relation to Calhoun, maybe. He had never let me see that side of him, but he was out now. The monster was before me, half unhinged but also in complete control, and his entire body was shaking in his urgency to remain in control.
I didn’t want his control.
I hated his control, and I wanted to push him over the edge. I suddenly thirsted for it, desperate for it, and my legs locked around his waist.
Before he could do anything, I shoved a hand between us and pulled him out. My hand wrapped around him once, rubbing him. I lifted my hips. My shorts were whisked off, and I sank down, sheathing us together.
He cursed, reacting instantly. His mouth was on mine, hard.
Our movements weren’t coordinated after that. There was too much rawness and realness brimming to the top. I commanded him. He demanded me. His thrusts were rough, almost violent, but it’s what I wanted. It’s what I needed. It sent mespinning, feeling alive, and I was gasping for breath as he continued fucking me.
He crushed me against the wall.
I knew there’d be abrasions over my skin from the pool side. I. Did. Not. Care.
I only felt him.
