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He looks as broken as I feel, and I know I’m the reason for him being like this.
“Jeni,” Aiden whispers.
Chris looks at me and loosens his grip. In a panic, I take his hand, my eyes imploring him to stay, but he pulls away and heads to the balcony, leaving me alone with Aiden.
“You’re actually here? God, I miss you, baby,” Aiden slurs, stumbling toward me.
He looks terrible.
He hasn’t shaved for what looks like days and is wearing the same clothes he was wearing the day I left. “I love you s-so much,” he stutters, choking out his words.
My chest tightens, and I struggle to breathe. “Aiden… I…” He’s looking at me intently, waiting for me to finish my sentence, but I just shake my head. “You look terrible,” I state, and it makes him chuckle.
“Well, you look beautiful.”
I let out a long breath which sounds like a sigh. “Aiden, I don’t know what to say—”
“Say you love me!” His tone is desperate.
I close my eyes tightly as the pain in my chest becomes unbearable just by the mere mention of those words. I know he’s right—I do love him—there’s never been any doubt.
“Love’s never been the problem, Aiden.”
He takes a step closer. “I know, baby. I wish I could change what happened that day.”
I know what I’m about to say will hurt him, but for some reason I say it anyway. “I don’t think I can get past this.” The words are whisper quiet, but I know he heard me.
Aiden shakes his head emphatically. “Jeni, please come home. I’m a mess without you,” he begs, swaying, then falling to the floor in front of me.
“Aiden…”
He moves to get up, stumbles, and falls again.
Sadness washes over me—I’m the reason he’s like this—but I say the words I shouldn’t anyway, “You’re so drunk that you probably won’t even remember I was here.”
Aiden stands, takes a breath, then places his hands on my shoulders. “Jeni, I love you. You can’t leave me. I won’t let you.”
“You won’t let me?” I shove his hands off my shoulders defensively.
Aiden looks at me and backs away slightly as Chris rushes in from the balcony to assess the situation.
“You’re drunk and don’t even know what you’re saying. I love you. I will always love you. Nothing can change that, but I can’t be with you. Aiden, it’s over!” I walk toward the elevator as a loud thud bangs behind me, so I turn around and find Aiden’s fallen to his knees.
Chris rushes over to me as the color drains from Aiden’s face.
He sits with his head in his hands.
The sight breaks my heart into a thousand tiny broken shards.
He looks up at me, his eyes pleading. “Jeni, please. We can work this out. I love you so much. Please, please, please,” he continues to beg while we wait for the elevator.
Chris gives Aiden an understanding nod as he watches his best friend fall apart in front of him. Looking completely torn, Chris steps into the elevator with me. It can’t be easy for him having to choose a side right now. It doesn’t help that I’m lost, like I’m in some nightmare state and I’m trying desperately to wake up. I just can’t seem to figure out where the hell my life is going right now as my eyes stay on Aiden. As the doors slowly close, my heart pounds when I lose sight of him, and Chris wraps his arm around me.
I feel so fucking lost that I can hardly think. My knees are beyond weak. I have no energy left to keep myself functioning. My body collapses into Chris, and he holds me tight in his arms while trying to console me, but nothing works, forcing him to carry me to the car.
I don’t know what I expected by coming here.
A lifeline.
