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She tilts her head to the side. “Is he the reason you’re here?” she asks curiously. I shake my head. “Tell me more about Aiden. How did you meet?”
“We were in a chain collision. He literally ran into the back of my car.”
“That’s a unique way to meet someone. I can tell by the way your face lights up when you talk about him that you love him.”
“I do, very much.”
“So, what’s happening in your life that brought you here today?”
My heart starts to race again, and it feels like it’s being squeezed by a vice. “I can’t…” I say quietly.
“Jeni, the first step is recognizing the issue or problem or perhaps both. In your case, it seems it’s a who that’s the problem?”
Brielle glances at me and gives me the courage to say his name. “Jason.” The word is like acid on my tongue, and I want to spit it out of my mouth.
“Good. Now… who is Jason to you?”
“My ex-fiancé,” I tell her.
“Jeni, what did Jason do?”
I tense, closing my eyes, as imagery flashes through my mind of his fist pounding into my face. My breath catches, my heart races, but I manage to choke out the words. “He hit me… a lot. I was in the hospital. They had to take out my spleen and my left eye socket was fractured. I was… a mess.” I sniffle and pull a tissue from the box conveniently placed on the edge of the sofa. “I was left broken, battered, and terrified of men… all men. I felt like shit and still do. I hurt so much, physically and mentally, but worse than that, I blamed the one person I love most in the world, and it broke him, too.”
She half smiles. “In here, we can work on helping you learn how to channel and take control of your feelings.” My forehead crinkles with confusion. “Is there anything causing the memories to resurface?”
“Yes, Aiden and Bree’s father, Niall. I work in the family business with Aiden’s family. Niall’s loud and aggressive toward me. He doesn’t like me at all. And if I am being honest, he… he frightens me. I think he may hurt me like Jason did because he’s so aggressive toward me when no one is around. There was an incident where I was standing on a ladder, and he yanked on me making me fall from it which caused medical issues that we can go into another day, but… he makes no apology about the fact that he detests me. He says so in front of Aiden and Bree all the time.”
“Hmmm…. is it possible for you to work somewhere where Aiden’s father can’t interact with you?”
I shake my head.
“Do you like your job?”
I smile. “I love it. The work is exactly what I adore doing, and I’m good at it. Working with my fiancé is a dream come true. I get along well with everyone else. It’s only Niall. And he’s the boss, so it makes it hard.”
“The best thing would be to remove yourself from any situation where your fears could be heightened or exacerbated. However, you also need to face your fears, but not if you think he could harm you in any way.”
“I think my father may be capable of hurting Jeni, unfortunately. He takes great pleasure from it. It’s quite disconcerting. He’s always been a nasty man even with our family, but with Jeni, he seems much, much worse. And especially lately,” Bree adds.
“Do you feel like you can cope with staying in the same workspace as him?”
I think for a moment then shrug. “I have to.”
“You don’t have to do anything. You do what makes you feel most comfortable and what keeps you safe,” Dee says in response.
“True, but I love my job, and if I left, I don’t know how Aiden would take it. He loves having me there with him, and I don’t want to disappoint him. Again. He’s put up with a lot from me, and I want to make it up to him,” I say honestly.
She nods and writes in her notebook. “Now, you say Niall’s frightening you. How?” she asks, looking at me intently.
“He’s loud, obnoxious, raises his hand to me, and is threatening. He openly admits he hates me. He thinks I’m taking Aiden away from him… he mentions that all the time.”
“And how do you react when he’s loud and threatening toward you?”
“The other day he raised his hand to me, and I fell backward to the floor. Honestly, I thought he was going to hit me. I flinch whenever he yells or bangs his fist on my desk… which is often.” I let out a long sigh. “My heart pounds when he taunts me, and my muscles tense. I react badly to it, I suppose, and he knows it, so he uses it to his advantage. But I don’t know how not to react. I’ve tried, and everything I do doesn’t work.”
She nods, taking more notes and changes the subject back to Jason and our history. I rehash our relationship and how controlling he was and that the relationship was utterly toxic. Going through that, in that environment, shaped me into the person I am today.
“How do you feel about today’s session?” Dee asks.
