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Jeni cocks her brow. “What do you mean, who you are? You know who you are, Aiden. It doesn’t change anything about you. At all. You’re still the same man.”
I scoff and then laugh, and even to me, it sounds maniacal. “Yeah, right, Jeni. This changes every damn thing. What the hell am I supposed to do now? Do they want me to change my last name to O’Leary instead of O’Connell? That means you and the kids will need to change your names, too. This doesn’t just affect me, Jeni, this affects you, too. Everything is different. I work in the family business… a family I’m no longer a part of. Brielle should take over the company. I’m not even an O’Connell, so how can I run O’Connell Finance, huh? That just doesn’t make sense if I am not Niall’s son. See, Jeni, everything is fucked now!” I yell.
She reaches out to take my hand, but I flinch away. I’m so angered, I don’t want her touching me in case I lash out. I would never hurt her on purpose, not ever, but I can’t seem to control what’s coming out of my mouth.
“Aiden, slow down. There’s no need to leave the business. If you’re anxious about it, then talk to Brielle, but I already know what she’ll say,” Jeni says calmly while I pace a hole in the carpet.
“What? That I’m no brother of hers and that she’ll have to take over. And then what, baby? We’re not poor, but I have to find a way to keep up the lifestyle we’re accustomed to. Remember, if I’m not there, then you have no one to PA for. So basically, we’re both jobless with three kids. What if no one will hire us? What if—”
“Stop, Aiden! Just stop! You’re worrying about something that won’t happen. Brielle loves you, and even though you don’t have the same father, it doesn’t mean she’s not your sister. She would never take the business from you. Search your heart… you know that. And what’s with all this talk about needing money. You know we’re fine… more than fine. We have enough to last us a lifetime. We don’t need money.”
I huff and continue to pace.
My thoughts are running crazy. I’m spiraling.
This changes everything.
My whole life is based on a lie.
How does that even happen?
“Thirty-four years I’ve been living this lie… thinking Niall actually fathered me. And all this time…
all this fucking time…” I exhale and pace some more. A wave of anger moves over me again. I storm over to the dresser, pick up the vase in my anger, and throw it against the wall. “Fuuuck.”
“Aiden, stop! Look at me,” Jeni pleads. She walks over and takes my hands in hers. I hold back the waves of emotion as she looks right into my glistening eyes.
“This doesn’t have to change anything. That is if you don’t want it to? I love you. I always will love you. And baby, I’m here for you no matter what you decide to do,” she almost whispers.
I look into her eyes, her saddened green eyes, and a new emotion hits me like a tidal wave. I can’t hold back a loud sob that escapes me. Jeni exhales while I fall to the floor, and she follows me down. She holds on trying to comfort me in my moment of despair, anguish, anger, frustration, and fear of the unknown—everything is too much for me right now. I should be the strong one. Always. But poor Jeni has to pick up my broken pieces as I can’t keep it together in her arms.
“It’s okay, let it all out,” she comforts me while she holds my head to her chest and strokes the side of my face lovingly.
Jeni is amazing. I love her more than ever right now.
“Why didn’t they tell me… when I was younger? I could’ve had a great life with Mike as my father,” I mumble.
Jeni leans down to kiss my head. “You still can, Aiden. You simply have to let Mike in. Hear their side of the story as to why they didn’t tell you. There must be a reason. How about, when you feel up to it, we head downstairs and talk to your mom and Mike? See what they have to say, hey?”
“I love you,” I confess.
“I know… I love you, too. But Mom and Mike will be freaking out downstairs. So, let me know when you’re ready, and we’ll go down and face them together. We’re a team, remember? I will always be by your side. No matter what. Okay?”
I nod while I exhale, letting all my frustration and negative energy out with my breath. “I don’t think I’m ready just yet. Can we lay on the bed for a while?” I ask, and she half-smiles.
“Of course. Whatever you need.” Jeni stands and reaches out for my hand. I follow her as she leads me over to our bed. She lies down, and I move in next to her. She cuddles into my chest, leaving no room between us. I need her. I need to breathe her in. Her scent calms me, and her skin against mine soothes my nerves. I know, in this moment, I cherish her more than words can say. I’m so thankful she’s here with me right now, looking after me and simply being here.
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do,” I whisper.
“You do whatever you need to. Do what your gut is telling you. What your heart is telling you to do. Only you know where to go from here, Aiden. I can’t help you with that. You’re the only one who knows what you want to happen. I will support you no matter what you choose. All I want is for you to be happy.” Jeni smiles and leans up, kissing my lips tenderly.
I’m so grateful to have her in my life.
“What would I do without you?” I exhale.
“You’ll never need to worry about that.”
We lay in silence as she runs circles over the shirt covering my chest, and I kiss her head every few minutes. She’s being so patient with me. I’m well aware that Mom and Mike are waiting for me, and I’ve been up here for over an hour. I take in a deep breath and let it out slowly.
