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“Hey, boy, you never disappoint me, do you, buddy?” I whisper as I pat his head. He yawns and lies next to my chair.
I look out over the night sky and up at the stars, the stars that I grew to love because of my father, well, my pretend father, Niall. I look up at them and wonder if he’s looking down on this whole mess and is ready to throw a fist at Mike. He might even come back and start haunting him now. For a second, just a brief second, I laugh at the imagery of Niall’s ghost getting all worked up.
“It’s good to hear you laugh,” Mom chimes, catching my attention. I look over at her, and she smiles at me. “I love you, Aiden.”
I break out of my mood to show her I still care. “I know, I love you, too, Mom, and I’m sorry. It’s just a shock.”
“I know. We’ll be back over in the morning before you two head off to work. Can you remind Bree and Killian that I love them, and I’m sorry when you tell them?”
I nod, and she half-smiles. She goes to
walk off, and I grab her attention once more. “Mom.”
“Yes, darling?”
“Are you sure Mike wasn’t ashamed and that’s why you didn’t tell anyone? Because I was a dirty little secret?”
Mom walks over and sits down next to me, taking my hands in hers. “Oh, sweetheart, never, ever think that. Mike wanted the world to know about you. He loves you so much, Aiden, and he’s never been ashamed of anything you’ve done. Just remember he loves you like a father, not like a close friend. Everything he did was to protect you and to keep you near him. He would never be ashamed of you, honey. He loves you too much,” she says.
I guess I believe her, but I think I really need to hear that from Mike.
“Thanks, Mom.”
She leans in, hugging me. My body’s stiff, and I can’t bring myself to hug her back, just yet. Let me get used to the fact that she lied to me for my entire life and then maybe I can return the gesture.
“I’ll be just across the yard if you need to talk. I don’t care if it’s three in the morning. If you need to talk, call me, and we’ll be right over. Okay?”
I nod. Mom squeezes my hand and walks off. I start to wonder if DNA really changes everything. If not having any part of Niall in me makes me an even better person than I thought I was. All that fuss about Jeni thinking I was going to turn out like Niall was for nothing because it’s genetically impossible for me to turn out like him. It’s no wonder I was fighting so hard not to be like him, the problem was it’s just not in me to be like him.
This is doing my head in!
I start to wonder where my beautiful wife is. “C’mon, Charlie, let’s go inside,” I command, and Charlie jumps up with a smile on his face. I know dogs can’t actually smile, but he certainly looks like he is.
We step inside, and I close the concertina doors. What a long day, not to mention I’ve done all of this tonight with a hangover. Needless to say, I’m exhausted. I turn off the lights and head upstairs.
I walk into the nursery to see Jeni feeding one of the girls.
“Hey,” she whispers.
“Hey, which one?” I ask, and she pulls back the blanket and looks below the left ear.
“Kassie,” she replies, and I walk in and sit on the floor next to her rocking chair.
Charlie walks in and rests his head on my lap again, and I sit with my girls and our dog until Kassie starts to drift off.
“I think she’s asleep,” Jeni whispers.
I look up at Kassie, and she looks so peaceful all wrapped up. I stand and take her from Jeni and just hold onto her for a moment.
Jeni watches as realization comes to me—I couldn’t imagine the pain of not being at the birth of my children, and I know I would do anything to be in their lives, absolutely anything, even if it meant lying about something important.
With that realization, a sense of calm washes over me.
I think I understand why Mom and Mike did what they did.
Why they kept it from me.
Doesn’t make me any less upset, but at least now, I have a better understanding as to why.
