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“I don’t know. Why?”
He huffed out a breath. “Because you’re the one who’s been telling me how I need to take this thing seriously. So, I took your advice. I’m getting to know the women, but now you’re barely listening.”
“That’s not true.” I was listening. I was just distracted by the smell and feel of him. “But maybe we don’t have to talk about that tonight. Maybe I just want to drink, have fun, and forget about the train wreck that our lives have become.”
He stared at me then reached for my wine glass, setting both of ours on the table. “I think you’ve had enough.”
“Have not.” I pushed my lower lip out in a pout then leaned closer to him. “Don’t ruin my fun.”
“Jessica…” There was a warning note in his voice, but I barely heard it, my senses overwhelmed by him, by the sudden rush of desire that raced through me. I shifted closer to him on the couch, tilting my head toward his. What I really needed was a kiss.
“Stop.”
I blinked, confused. “What?”
“You can’t get mad at me when I make a move, and then try to kiss me like it’s no big deal.” His voice was tight, strained. “You’re the one who said we can’t do this, remember?”
Maybe I had, but the rejection still stung—more than it should have. Embarrassment washed over me, and I snapped at him in response. “Maybe you should just go then. Go find another girl to kiss—there are ten of them who’d be more than willing, I’m sure.”
“Don’t do this, Jess,” he said.
“Do what?” I stood, my legs feeling wobbly, the room spinning slightly. “I’m going to bed.”
“Let me help you.” He reached for me, but I batted his hand away.
“I’m fine. I’m just tired.” The words sounded odd in my ears, running together and not fully formed.
“What you are is drunk,” he muttered. “Come on, I’ll help you to your room.”
I swayed as he stood, leaning into him as he wrapped an arm around my waist. His scent was even stronger now, and I took a big inhale. “You smell nice.”
I stumbled, not hearing his response as he scooped me into his arms. The next thing I knew, I was sinking into the softness of my mattress, my thick blankets tucked in around me.
I wasn’t sure if it was my imagination or not, but I thought I felt soft lips against my forehead as I drifted off, the scent of pine and leather following me into my dreams.
17
GARRETT
Idrummed my fingers on my desk, wishing I had more to do than think about this fucking Contention. I’d spoken with Holden again this morning, practically begging him to let me get back to work. It was my life, the most important thing to me, and he simply refused to let me do it.
“Once the Contention is over…” he’d said “… there will be plenty for us to do. Believe me.”
That didn’t make me feel any better, though. Once the Contention was over, my life as I knew it would be over. Sure, I could throw myself into my job then, but I’d have a new mate I had to contend with.
I pushed back from my desk with a growl, spinning in my chair to stare out the window. Only eight contestants were remaining now.
When I’d left Jessica’s room last night, I’d dismissed both Mya and Jasmine. Jess would be pissed about it—not just that I’d done it without running it by her, but that I’d sent two women home. I could already hear what she would say—that I needed to spend more time getting to know them.
The thing was, I didn’t really need to get to know them that well—I just needed to know who would make the best mate for political purposes. I’d tried to tell Jessica this, but she hadn’t listened. Or hadn’t wanted to listen.
I couldn’t figure out where her head was at. She kept giving me mixed signals, pushing me away one minute and coming on to me the next. It would have been all too easy to see where things led last night, but I wouldn’t take advantage of her like that. She wasn’t thinking clearly.
Or perhaps her true feelings had been on display. I couldn’t get her out of my mind, and my feelings for her were becoming more complicated by the day. How was I supposed to figure out what might be between us when I knew that each passing day brought us closer to the end of… whatever this was.
I’d never wanted to explore a relationship with a woman before until now. And the woman I wanted wasn’t one I could have, at least not for much longer.
I scraped my hands over my face. None of the eight remaining women were someone I could see myself spending my life with. None of them were Jessica.
