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I’d only been waiting a few minutes when Kayden came striding down the hallway, a key dangling from her fingertips and a wide grin on her face. Her eyes sparkled with excitement as she approached.
“This is going to be so much fun. I already requested dinner to be brought up, and there’s this new movie I’m sure will take your mind off whatever’s bothering you.” She unlocked the bedroom door, and it was like going back in time when I stepped inside—back to when I’d first come to live at the estate for the Contention, shy and unsure of myself.
I’d come so far from who that girl was, but sometimes I felt like I hadn’t changed at all. I was too afraid to speak up about my own life, to claim what I wanted for myself—though I didn’t really have a choice there. But I could have said something at any point. I could have let Garrett know how I truly felt about him. Even now, the idea sent me into a panic.
“You coming in?” Kayden frowned at me from across the room, where I was still standing in the entry staring off into space.
I gave myself a little shake and smiled, closing the door and moving to sit on the bed where I’d spent countless hours with Kayden. She plopped down beside me then turned and gave me a serious look.
“Out with it.”
I lifted my brows. “What?”
Her lips pursed. “Don’t give me that. Something is going on with you. I’ve noticed you were a bit off lately. But there’s something you aren’t telling me.”
I wracked my brain, trying to come up with an answer that would satisfy her, but kept drawing a blank. Perhaps sticking as closely to the truth as possible was a good strategy.
“It’s just… the Contention is getting to me. It’s been a lot.”
She gave me a sympathetic smile, reaching out to hug me. “You have been busy. But is that all?”
Sometimes it wasn’t a good thing that Kayden could read me so well. “A lot of it is just being busy, yeah. I’ve had to be on for over a month, putting my best foot forward. This is my first major event as council coordinator, and I really need to prove myself.” That much was definitely true. I shrugged. “And maybe watching other people find love is a little difficult.”
Kayden snorted. “Garrett doesn’t love a single one of those women, and you know it.”
“Maybe not, but it’s hard not to see it that way. I’m orchestrating a happily ever after here… or trying to, at least.” I had to swallow a lump in my throat before I continued. “Sometimes I think I’ll never find the same for myself.”
That was as close to the truth as I could get, and it felt good to get it off my chest, but I knew Kayden couldn’t fully understand—not without me telling her I was in love with the man everyone was competing for.
Kayden leaned in and wrapped her arms around me, squeezing me tight. “I know it might not seem like it right now, but there are plenty of men who would love to get to know you. Once you’re done spending all your time sorting out Garrett’s love life, you can focus on your own.”
That, of course, didn’t make me feel any better. Just then, there was a knock on the door. Kayden hopped off the bed, her white-blonde ponytail bouncing as she rushed to answer it, swinging the door open to reveal a staff member with a cart full of food.
“There’s no way we’ll be able to eat all this.” I laughed as Kayden snuck a taste of chocolate mousse from the dessert tray.
“You’d be surprised.” She thanked the man who’d brought the cart then shut the door, and we dug in.
“You know…” Kayden said through a mouthful of buttered roll “… I’ve gotten to know Garrett pretty well since I came here. I know he probably isn’t helping your stress levels—he can be a lot, especially when he doesn’t want to take anything seriously. So if he’s giving you a hard time, don’t take it personally.”
“He was really mad about me suggesting the Contention in the first place,” I admitted. He hadn’t brought it up in a while, though.
“See, that’s what I mean. But don’t let him upset you. I can speak to him if you want.”
“No!” I said, too quickly. Kayden gave me a funny look. “What I mean is, we’re almost done, like you said. No need to worry about it now.”
“He may not have been happy about it in the beginning, but Garrett’s nothing if not loyal and committed to his pack. To Holden. Everyone knows he doesn’t really want to be part of this—maybe even some of the girls. But look how he’s turned around and stayed focused. He’s giving a real go at it. He’s willing to sacrifice his own needs for the good of the pack. I don’t think there’s anything he wouldn’t give up if Holden asked.”
Like his freedom and ability to choose who he really wanted to be with. But I was getting ahead of myself. Garrett might have cared about me, but he’d never talked about a future together. What would be the point? So really, I had no idea what he wanted. And it didn’t matter.
My throat constricted, my eyes stinging. I wanted so badly to tell Kayden how I felt, to have someone to talk to about how hard this past month had been for me. But I couldn’t just tell her I was in love with Garrett, who was gearing up to marry another woman.
It seemed too awful to say out loud. He was doing this for the greater good. And I had come between his chances to get to know the contestants in a way that might have ended up with him finding love with one of them.
“What else is going on, Jess?”
I looked up to find Kayden watching me with concern. “Nothing.” I shook my head and sat up straighter. “You know what, I’m tired of talking about the Contention.”
“Okay.” She gave me a sly smile. “How about we talk about the hot new soldier?”
