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Not long after, there was a knock at my door. I opened it to find Ryker standing there, dressed in black pants and a button up shirt. It was the first time I’d seen him out of his standard black combat attire, which he’d even worn to our group dinner.
He was tall, handsome, a great catch for anyone, I was sure. But I simply didn’t feel the same thrill at seeing him in my doorway as I did with Garrett.
“Hi,” I said, pasting on a smile, wishing I hadn’t agreed to this, even as I knew I had to move forward.
“Hi there,” his deep voice rumbled. “You look beautiful tonight.”
“Oh.” I glanced down at my dress. “Thank you.”
He held his hand out. “Shall we?”
I took his hand and let him lead me downstairs to the waiting car.
“I’m looking forward to seeing the town,” he said.
“Oh, yeah. It’s nice to get away every now and then.”
As we rode into town, Ryker asked me questions about my job, how I liked living on the estate and working for the North American alpha. We made small talk, but I felt as if I were faking my way through the entire evening. Half my mind was on Kayden, worrying that she had seen too much and knowing that my secret rendezvous with Garrett couldn’t continue. The other half was on Garrett himself, my heart in tattered pieces over the knowledge of what I had to do. What I had to say.
As the date wore on, I felt pretty bad for Ryker. He was the perfect gentleman, opening my door, ordering for me at the restaurant, really taking care to make the evening nice. But I couldn’t give him my full attention, and he was surely able to tell.
“What brought you here to work for Holden?” I asked over dinner, trying my best to seem interested.
“My father used to work for Holden’s father when he was alpha. I spent my entire childhood following him from job to job.” Ryker took a sip of water. “The job he always held in the highest regard was working for Bridger.”
“And you’re following in his footsteps?” I guessed.
“You could say that.” He smiled, revealing perfectly straight, white teeth. “Though I have aspirations of my own.”
There was never an awkward moment throughout the rest of the evening, even if Ryker wasn’t a man of many words. I might have truly enjoyed myself if I hadn’t been so torn up over Garrett. Ryker was a good man—a man with honor, values, and a sense of loyalty that shined through in everything he did and said. But I couldn’t fully get into the date. Not with Garrett haunting my thoughts.
By the end of the date, I knew Ryker would be a good man for someone, but that someone wasn’t me. The only man I wanted was Garrett.
Even though the time had come to put an end to what we had.
23
GARRETT
Istalked out of the infirmary through a side door and headed straight for the woods. My wolf was so close to the surface I felt I might burst out of my skin at any moment.
Two women remained now. That was it. The day of choosing my mate was nearly upon me—not that it really mattered. I was taking the deal with Reagan. It served us both, as well as the greater good of the packs. But I knew now more than ever that I couldn’t tie myself to another woman, so Reagan was my only option. It was the only way I’d be able to keep seeing Jessica when this shit show came to an end.
Except now she was out on a date with another man. A growl ripped from my throat. How could she do that? After everything we’d been through, she just took off with another guy tonight. Had the past week meant nothing to her? I’d thought we were moving forward, figuring things out together. But now this.
I stripped out of my clothes, threw them aside, and then let my shift take over. My wolf sprang forth, and I welcomed the pain. I welcomed the sensations of settling into my other form, where sights, sounds, and smells accosted my senses. At least in my wolf form, my pain became a dull ache in my chest instead of an all-consuming storm that threatened to unhinge me.
As soon as my shift was complete, I tore through the forest, running as hard and fast as possible. Pushing my wolf to its limits. Trying to outrun the thoughts that chased and haunted me.
Normally, a vigorous run was all it took to calm me, settle my nerves and help me think straight again. But Jessica had really gotten under my skin, and I couldn’t shake the unsettled feeling in my chest—like everything I wanted was just out of my grasp, and I didn’t know how to reach it.
Jess and I had run through these woods together not so long ago. Things had been light and carefree. Fun. But now there was a heaviness I couldn’t get rid of, a sense of trepidation that a future with Jessica was slipping through my fingers.
I ran until I was completely exhausted, my body slow and aching. But even that didn’t calm my mind or settle my wolf the way it usually did. I was still wound tight as I shifted back a couple of hours later. I felt unhinged, reckless, nearly crazed as I made my way back across the estate grounds, demanding to know where Jessica was.
“Have you seen Jessica?” I got right in one of the guard’s faces. “Where is she?”
He shook his head, his eyes wide as he hurriedly shook his head. “She’s not here, sir. She hasn’t returned.”
