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I nodded and sighed. “Yeah. Coffee first.”
“I’ll meet you on the terrace.”
Entering the full-sized modern kitchen with state-of-the-art equipment—Holden had nothing but the best—I poured myself a mug of coffee as I gathered my thoughts. At this point, I was no longer trying to get out of the Contention, but I needed to know just what the repercussions would be. Despite knowing Jess and I couldn’t continue our relationship, I still wasn’t willing to give up on us.
With coffee in hand, I made my way out to the terrace. Memories of Jessica flooded my mind. Arguing out here with her after that first meeting when the Contention became a reality. Being up on the rooftop all those weeks, kissing her as if my life depended on it. And then what came after…
I blew out a heavy breath as I sat opposite Holden. “I need to know what the legalities are before we reach the end of the Contention.”
Holden’s brows flew up. “Legalities?”
“You know, the rules and laws in place, like in your Contention. What’s required and all that.”
Holden sat back, crossing his arms as he looked at me thoughtfully. “There are no actual laws, and the rules are what you and Jessica set. The laws surrounding an alpha’s Contention are one thing—they’re based on traditions going back centuries, and the competition was required for me to take my place as alpha. You know this.”
Yes, and Holden had pushed the limits of those laws, finding a way to skirt around one of the most important to have Kayden as his mate.
“Right,” I said, “I do, but this isn’t the same. I just need to know how much of my life I have to give up because of this. How many more things I’ll be required to do.”
“Look, Garrett.” Holden leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table and pressing his fingertips together. He watched me closely as he said, “There are no actual requirements here. No laws or rules beyond those related directly to the Contention itself. A Contention with a beta is unprecedented. While it was part of me taking my place as alpha, there’s nothing you legally have to do. It’s all based on expectations.”
The weight of those expectations had become heavier to bear by the day.
“We’re doing this to make the alphas happy,” he continued. “You know this. It’s a way to make them feel they weren’t cheated. A chance for them to have more representation on the council, so they feel heard.”
“I get that. But what other expectations are there? Do I have to fully claim my mate? Have children together? Before I make my choice, I need to know what I’m really signing up for.”
Maybe it was a bit late to start worrying about these things, but if I had to give my mate the claiming bite to seal a mate bond or have kids, I wasn’t sure I could go through with it. Not when I was in love with another woman. A business arrangement was one thing. But building a life and having children was quite different.
“There’s nothing that says you have to do any of that,” Holden said. “Like I told you, this is entirely unprecedented. It’s really up to us—to you now—to decide what you want to make of it. Honestly, just marrying one of the women and providing two other council seats should be enough. That’s what the alphas are after—more representation. They couldn’t care less about your love life.”
I leaned back, slightly relieved. Taking the deal with Reagan would work out exactly as I hoped. I wasn’t signing on for more than I’d originally thought. But even that small relief wasn’t enough to rid me of the pain of losing Jessica.
I scraped a hand over my jaw, and when I looked at Holden once more, he gave me a knowing look. “You’re already figuring out an exit strategy, aren’t you?”
I didn’t say anything to that. What would I have said, anyway?Yeah, so I can be with the woman I truly love.
That was more than I could get into today, especially with my home visit with Reagan looming. Besides, Holden knew me better than anyone. I didn’t have to say it for him to know I would eventually find a way out of it. The problem was, I couldn’t ask Jessica to wait around for me until then. That was just as unfair as asking her to continue our relationship in secret.
Holden sighed. “I know you never wanted this. And I hope you realize how much I appreciate your sacrifice, Garrett. Truly. You’ve always put the pack first, even when you’d rather not. So let me tell you this. Whatever you choose to do next, I will support you. No matter what. Do you understand?”
Something told me Holden knew exactly why I was so torn up over this—or at least, why my heart wasn’t in it. But I wouldn’t put him in an uncomfortable position by discussing it now. It would only complicate matters.
“Thank you. I mean it.” And I truly did. Holden’s support meant the world to me. Even though I wouldn’t walk away from my duty to the pack, he was giving me that option. He wasn’t just my alpha. He was a true friend, a brother. Which was why I couldn’t let him down.
A car approaching the estate’s circle drive caught my attention. “I need to get going. I have a home visit to get to.”
Holden and I said goodbye then I went to take a quick shower and dressed for the date. Jessica was outside waiting, just like she had been yesterday. I tried to catch her eye, but she was wearing those big, dark sunglasses again. My chest ached. I hoped she hadn’t been crying again.
“Good morning,” I murmured as I came to stand at her side. Reagan wasn’t out yet. “You okay?”
She nodded. “I’ll be fine. Will you promise me something?”
“Anything.” I turned to face her. I would do whatever she asked at this point.
“Give Reagan a real chance today. I know you have your deal with her. But maybe it doesn’t have to be that way. Get to know her and see if there could be more.”
I opened my mouth to protest. I didn’twantthere to be more. But Jessica didn’t let me argue the point.
