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And the thing was, I knew I’d never have her.
Not after she got her life on track. Not after she went and met some guys from good families and nice neighborhoods, ones who didn’t feel called to the streets, but toward higher education like she did.
It fucking gutted me to do it, but I forced myself to imagine her meeting other guys and forgetting all about me.
“Yo, my guy, you really can’t be leaving yet,” Michael, the nurse, said as I walked out after just fuckingbarelyholding myself back from kissing Ama.
She’d have allowed it.
I saw it in her eyes.
She’d even have participated and enjoyed.
But she would have beaten herself up afterward.
And I cared too fucking much to be that selfish.
“I’m alright.”
“You’re gray,” he countered.
“I’ll be fine,” I assured him.
“I can’t let you drive.”
“Good thing I’m not driving then,” I said, moving out the door to reach for my phone.
I could have called one of the guys. Levee or Cato would have come over in a heartbeat, no matter what they had going on.
But they were all the way in Golden Glades.
Which left me with one option that wasn’t a fucking ride service who would have questions about the blood. Or, at the very least, concerns about it staining their interiors.
“Seeley,” Teddy answered on the last ring. “Not every day you are hitting up my phone.”
I liked Teddy. It was impossible not to like Teddy. But I guess I’d always found it hard to relate to him. This guy who was raised with a silver spoon. Someone who’d never known financial struggle.
I mean, sure, you could argue that he knew other struggles. Especially when he was a kid. Because kids were dicks and might have said something about his dwarfism.
But it just was a different thing.
And while I hung out with Teddy in groups, I really never reached out to him on my own.
“I need a ride, man,” I told him, and I could practically hear the tension.
“What happened?”
“A lot of shit. Shit that led me to the clinic in my old neighborhood,” I explained. “I’d call the guys, but it would take them twice as long to get here, and I’m fucking fading.”
“Give me ten. Maybe fifteen,” he said, already jumping into action.
“I’ll be down at the end of the strip mall. Don’t want to freak out the people bringing in stuffy-nosed kids.”
“Okay. Hey,” he called just as I was about to hang up.
“Yeah?”
“You okay?”
