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And just to fuck with him, I kicked my foot up under the coffee table, overturning it, sending their heroin all over the floor as all three of them wailed and dropped to the floor to try to scoop it into their hands.
I might not have been going places in the world like Ama. But I was going to do better than my old man.
That was a win in my book.
As it would turn out, that was the last time I needed to come to her rescue.
Because just shy of three months later, she was standing in her nearly empty apartment, everything important to her stashed in the back of her rented car she was using to drive to college the next morning.
I didn’t offer to bring her, even though I would have killed for just one more day with her.
It would have been too hard.
To say goodbye.
To turn around, walk away, and leave her there, all the while knowing I was never going to see her again.
“Hey, what’s this?” I asked as her eyes went glassy. “This is a happy day,” I told her.
Even though it was the saddest day of my entire fucking life. It felt like someone was slowly carving out my heart with a dull knife.
“I am happy,” she said. “But really sad too,” she admitted.
“Why would you be sad?”
“Come with me,” she demanded.
And, damn her, it was all I wanted to do.
And everything I couldn’t.
“I can’t.”
“You can! You’re smart, Seeley. And resourceful. You can figure it out. If anyone can, it’s you. And then we can still be together.”
Not inthatway.
She never meant itthatway.
“I can’t. I have a life here.”
“You can be so much more than this,” she insisted.
“Stop. We’re not doing this. You have to get some sleep so you can get on the road in a few hours,” I reminded her, turning away because I didn’t trust myself right then. To keep being the good guy, doing what was best for her.
“Seeley,” she called, and something in her tone had me turning around.
Then she was coming at me.
I braced for a hug.
One of the last hugs.
But then her lips were on mine.
“Yo, come the fuck on, man,” someone called, making me snap out of my memories, realizing my ride was idling at the curb, waiting for me to snap back to the present moment, instead of the memories I had no business getting stuck in.
“Sorry,” I said, sliding into the backseat.
