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“No.” She crosses her arms across her chest in defiance. “Whatever you want to say, you can say it right here. I am so sick of men telling me what to do.”
I step toward her, asking the question before I can stop myself. “Cat, who the fuck did this to you?” My hand automatically reaches for her waist. I want to touch her, and I want her close to me. But before I can make contact, she takes a step back, and I still.
Even knowing she might react this way to me, that action sends a pang through my chest.
“Cat. Tell me who did this to you,” I push on. Looking into her eyes, I see a mixture of emotions. None which I can decipher.
“Look, Carter, I appreciate the concern, but this really has nothing to do with you.” Then, she’s turning to leave.
“I need a name, Cat. The rest I will take care of,” I say to her back, making sure she knows that I will take care of her problems. Any and all. I will eradicate them one by one until she can have a peaceful life.
Sighing, she turns to face me again. “Carter, it is fine. I am taking care of it.”
“Let me take care of it for you... let me take care of you,” I say, swallowing roughly, my heart thumping out of my chest.
“I think I’m okay on my own. Thanks, Carter.” She says the words with a bite, but her eyes look at me with confusion.
“Fuck, Cat, I’m trying here.” I rub my eyes with my hand, fucking tired and frustrated and sad that she won’t let me in, at least to help her with this. Although after what I did, I am not surprised. I just don’t know how to grovel, how to beg, how to put things right, because I have never done it. I have never cared enough for someone to do it before now.
“Do you think running in here at my hour of need like Prince Charming, acting like you care about me, when really all you wanted was a quick fuck, is going to get me crawling back into your arms?” She huffs a laugh, but it’s without humor. It’s filled with hurt that I put there. When I don’t say anything, she continues.
“Yeah… well, Carter, you need to try a little fucking harder than that,” she spits out, spins away from me, and grabs Maggie’s arm, pulling her along and out the door without a glance back in my direction.
“Fuck,” I murmur, ready to punch someone, then chase after her and get on my knees.
I slam my fist into the nearby bag and look at Benji.
“What?” I bark out at him, seeing that he obviously wants to say something.
“She is never going to believe words, Carter. Show her with action. For once in your life, you are going to have to give yourself over to someone else and put your heart and soul on the line. Are you ready for that? It’s a package deal with her and Ivy, so don’t go fucking it up again,” Benji says, looking at me like he is the expert in all things love and feelings.
“I have no idea what to fucking do,” I say to him honestly.
“The wimpiest thing you did was run away from her. I don’t know what she likes, but think about what you know about her, and make it right,” Benji says, huffing as he shuffles papers at his desk.
“That's all you got, Doctor Love?” I ask him, teasing him for his interest in my personal life.
“I could charge you by the hour and let you know of my tales of seduction, but after I saw her with that lawyer guy the other day, you need much more help than I can give, brother.” His solemn tone wipes the smile from my face.
Did she really move on so soon? We can’t just explode together and have it be nothing. Right?
No, there are feelings involved; I could see it in her eyes today. I have got to make it right.
Starting tomorrow.
26
Catherine
As I sit at my desk, I can barely see the other side from the mountain of paperwork currently in front of me. Most of which I will need to take home and do at night once Ivy is asleep. My day is half over, and I am already exhausted, but I still have a long list of patients to check on before I can attempt anything else.
“Morning!” Ian sing-songs as he comes into my office, holding a nice hot coffee that he picked up on his way in.
“Oh, thank God!” I breathe, relieved to have both him and the coffee now in my office.
“Awe, how nice that you missed me so much.” He places a hand over his heart sarcastically. “I have the stats from the overnights, and by the look of the ED, it is pretty quiet this morning. We should have a slightly easier day.” Taking a seat opposite me, we both sip our coffees and begin talking about our day.
With thicker than normal makeup on, my face feels itchy, but it is hiding any discoloration well. Paired with bright red lipstick and my hair down in waves, I am doing a good job of covering up the decaying destruction that is my life at the moment, focusing instead on helping others. Which is why I became a doctor in the first place.
