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“We can talk about it later. As I said, I am not going anywhere this time. You’re stuck with me, if you’ll still have me.” I put my cards out again, needing her to really understand where I stand. Even though she fell into my embrace last night, there were a lot of emotions going on, and I want to make sure she wants me for me and everything that I bring with me.
Once I’m in front of her, I grab her around the waist and pull her to me. She doesn’t hesitate, her arms running up my chest and looping around my head. I lean my forehead onto hers.
“You feel good,” I groan. I feel like I have waited a lifetime to have her in my arms again.
“So do you,” she whispers, and I lean in, taking her lips softly, tentatively. When she kisses me back, I’m a goner.
“DO I NEED A HAT?” Ivy screams from down the hall, jarring us both and making me chuckle. Her excitement levels are sky high, and as Cat and I pull away, she giggles.
“Let me go and help Ivy. We will be out in a minute. Make yourself at home.” She waves her arms around the kitchen, stepping around me and walking down the hall.
I decide to be helpful and clean up the donuts and empty coffee cups, placing them in the trash I find under her kitchen sink. As I survey the room, I notice the water still dripping from the tap, so I start to play with the taps, seeing if I can fix it. Realizing I will need a few tools to do so, I walk out of the kitchen and move into the sitting room, saving that project for another time.
The sofa looks way too inviting after my fitness session early this morning. I had to get it in early today, knowing I wanted the freedom to spend the day with the girls. Turning away from it, I walk over to the open fireplace, looking at her trinkets and photos spread across the mantle.
Photos of her and Ivy line the bench, from when Ivy was a baby until now. There are a few with Maggie, and one of an older woman with what looks like a teenage Cat, and I assume that is her mother. But there are no men in any of these photos. None of Ivy’s dad, no brothers, not a male of any kind. Unusual.
“Okay, we’re ready,” Cat says from behind me, and I spin around, seeing them both with jackets and their bags.
“Great, let’s go!” Letting them lead the way, I make sure I lock up behind us.
Walking through the animal exhibits, I feel like I am having an out-of-body experience. This day couldn’t be further from my usual routine if I tried. I’ve never been to the zoo before; it wasn’t somewhere that my mother ever brought me. In fact, she never really took me anywhere. Not for lack of love, but because of lack of money. Today, as the sun shines down, and I hold Cat’s hand, we stroll behind Ivy, watching her excitement with rapt attention. We laugh at her as she recites everything she knows about each animal we approach, and I wonder if this family moment could ever become my life.
“You've done an awesome job, Cat,” I say, nodding toward Ivy. “She’s a great kid, and so damn smart.”
“She is. She has been through so much in her short life, yet constantly astounds me with her kindness and intelligence,” Cat says with a grateful smile, looking up at me.
“What about her dad? Is he in the picture?”
“Her dad is the man you saw in the grocery store, Carter. He is not a nice man,” Cat tells me honestly but with a bit of hesitation, and I squeeze her hand in reassurance. I thought it might be. Ivy doesn’t look anything like him, but from the way he was looking at Cat, I could tell he was infatuated with her. And not in a healthy way. I don’t want to push her or pry, but I continue.
“Is that who bruised your cheek?” I ask, and she huffs. My eyes flick to hers again, and I watch her with interest.
“Oh no, he didn’t do that. Not this time, anyway. My father was responsible for that one.” I stop mid-stride, muscles tensing, and I can already feel the smoke coming from my ears.
“What the fuck?” I say to her as we turn to face each other. If I heard correctly, she has two men in her life, who are meant to love and cherish her, but instead are now on my most wanted list. I will kill them both.
Pulling my hand, she has us moving forward again, and whether it is the sunlight, the joy at seeing Ivy happy, or the fact that I am here and can protect her, she is relaxed. So, I let it go for the moment, willing myself to calm down with her and soak in this time with them.
When a few minutes pass of silence, she begins to open up. I listen intently, wanting to know every detail she’ll give me.
“It started years ago, Carter. It has only been this last twelve months, though, that I have had the confidence...” I watch her throat as she swallows hard, taking a breath. “...and the money to get out.” She looks at me knowingly, and the penny drops.
“Dante,” I say, and she nods.
“Him and Annie were thrust into my life at just the right time and to be honest, I didn’t really have to think too hard about it. I wanted an out and the universe gave me one, and so I took it.” My thumb rubs her hand as she stares off into the distance, lost in thought.
“My father changed after my mom died. He became angry and cold, and to make him happy, I tried to do everything he wanted me to. I worked hard at school, then became a successful doctor. He also wanted me to date Daniel, and with both of us doctors, I think it was all about appearances for my dad. He never asked me what I wanted, but I wanted him to be like he was before my mom died, so I did everything he asked of me.”
“Did you ever actually want to be with him, before it got bad?”
“Yes and no. In the very beginning, everything was okay. Not that my feelings for him were ever as strong as his were for me, though. But then when it wasn’t, when things started getting worse, I just distracted myself. Working in medicine is demanding. I barely saw Daniel or my father, and I lost myself to my job. I guess I felt that I could continue the relationship without ever really being in it, just to keep them happy.”
I nod, letting her continue. This situation is so messed up.
“One night, Daniel had a few drinks and I happened to be home. At that stage, we were living together, but given our schedules at the hospital, we rarely saw each other. I always made sure whenever I had a day off, he was rostered to work, because I just didn’t want to be around him... But on this night, I was home and so was he, and he got aggressive.” When she pauses, her grip on my hand gets tighter.
I can feel my heart rate increase a little as I clench my jaw, knowing I am not going to like what comes next.
