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“I thought I was doing a good job of pretending to be fine. I didn’t want to put a damper on Christmas when everyone else was so excited.” The tears took some of her sadness away and she felt instantly calmer. “I can’t believe you’d think I didn’t want you to move in with us. The only doubt I have is whether you’re really going to be happy living in Plymouth.”
He shook his head. “How many times do I need to tell you that I don’t care where we live as long as we’re together?”
“I just think you’d rather live here.”
“I’ll be perfectly happy in Plymouth. I promise.” He took her hand and led her into the living room, where they sank onto the couch.
“There’s something else that worries me,” she said, thinking she may as well get everything out in the open.
“Tell me,” he prompted.
“Does the age difference between us bother you?” she asked, tentatively.
“No.” He shifted to face her, propping his arm on the back of the couch. “Why? Am I too immature for you?”
“No.” She gave his thigh a playful tap. “But I’m worried the age difference might become an issue in the future.”
“Why would it?”
“Because when you talked about your ex wanting kids, you said you didn’t want kidsyet.What happens if you decide you want kids five years from now and I can’t give you that?”
He looked thoughtful, which worried her. She’d fully expected him to wave away her concerns and say he was happy with her and Ellie and always would be.
“Do you ever think about having more kids?” he asked, his fingers grazing over the back of her neck. “Or did you always just want one?”
“I used to think I’d have more. When I had Ellie, I got more of the sperm stored in case I wanted to have another baby, so that they’d be full siblings. But it never felt like the right time to have another.”
“But the sperm is still there, just in case?”
“Yes.” She wasn’t sure what his point was.
“So you didn’t write the idea off completely?”
“No. I suppose I didn’t.”
He pressed his lips together, then twisted them to one side. “I’d like us to have a baby,” he finally said, his blue eyes deadly serious.
Beth shook her head in sharp, jerky movements. “You ... what?”
“I already told you that when I was with Jenny, it was never really that I didn’t want to get married and have kids – I just didn’t want to do it with her. Everything feels different with you. I can absolutely imagine us getting married one day. And if you wanted to have another baby, we could. I mean, I’d like to.”
For a moment, all she could do was stare at him. “You want us to have a baby?” she asked, slightly dumbstruck.
“Yes.” He smiled uncertainly. “If you don’t want to I’ll also be very happy the way we are now. But if you were up for it, so am I.”
“This isn’t where I thought this conversation was going.”
He took her hand, entwining their fingers. “What do you want?”
“I’m not sure. I didn’t think a baby was on the cards for us.” She bit her lip as emotions swelled in her chest. “But I’d love for us to have a baby … I’d really love to.”
“You don’t need to decide right now,” Trystan said. “You can think about it.”
“You probably need time to think about it more too,” she said, reining in her excitement. “We haven’t even been together for six months. We definitely need to think about it more. Obviously … It’s not as though you were suggesting we have a baby immediately.” Her mouth was spouting whatever sprang to mind and she couldn’t seem to stop it. “Except we shouldn’t wait too long because of my age. The longer we leave it the less chance there’ll be.” She paused to find him looking at her with eyes full of affection.
“I don’t need to wait,“ he said calmly. “I know what I want and I have no hesitations. Unless you want to wait?”
“No.” Her brain was struggling to keep up with the conversation, but her heart was way ahead. The thought of having a baby with Trystan filled her with joy. “I don’t want to wait.”
