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“We’ve been on a train ride, and now we’re stuffing our faces with cake.” She managed a smile as she looked at the chocolate smeared around Ellie’s face.
“I’m glad there’s cake at least. What are you doing later?”
“We’ll probably go to the beach.”
“Are you okay?” Dee asked sympathetically.
“Yeah. I’ll be fine.”
“Put the phone on speaker so I can talk to Ellie.”
Beth did as she was instructed, then told Ellie to say hi to Dee.
“Do you know it’s Mummy’s birthday today?” Dee said, while Beth silently cursed her. She hadn’t bothered mentioning it to Ellie.
“Is it?” Ellie asked, looking at Beth with wide eyes.
She nodded in reply. “That’s why we’re eating cake.”
“Can you make sure you give Mummy lots of cuddles?” Dee said. Beth cursed her again as tears formed in her eyes. “Really big cuddles, because it’s a big birthday.”
“Shut up,” Beth said lightly, catching a tear at the corner of her eye.
“I’ll give you your present when I see you.”
“Thanks.” Beth switched the phone off speaker and held it back to her ear.
“Try and enjoy your day. I know it’s not what you’d planned, but I hope you can find something good in it.”
“Cake and a beach trip aren’t so bad. I just …” She trailed off, knowing that if she said too much, she’d end up bawling her eyes out. Because even though the day was perfectly acceptable in theory, she was missing her mum with an intensity that overwhelmed her. “Never mind. I better get on and finish my cake.”
“I’m not doing anything tonight if you feel like a video call. We could drink wine together?”
“Thanks. I’ll let you know.” She suspected a video call with Dee would end up with lots of tears. An early night might be a better option.
“Love you,” Dee said, then ended the call.
“Are you going to have a birthday party?” Ellie asked.
“No. I’m too old for birthday parties. I just want to eat cake with you and then play on the beach for the afternoon.”
“Okay.” Ellie continued shovelling cake into her mouth until it was all gone, then they set off for the beach.
When they arrived back at the house late in the afternoon, Mirren turned the sprinkler on, and Ellie happily ran back and forth through the spray while Beth sipped a glass of crisp white wine on the patio.
In the kitchen, Mirren was busy cooking dinner, and the smell of onions frying drifted outside along with the gentle hum of the radio. The view from the patio was mesmerising and the rhythm of the waves washing onto the rocky headland was hypnotic.
It wasn’t how Beth had envisioned spending her birthday. If things had been different, she’d be spending the day with her mum and Ellie, and Dee and Ferne. It wouldn’t have been a big flashy event, but it would have been filled with love and laughter.
Reaching for her wine, she stared into the glass and told herself that the day had been pretty good, all things considered. Apart from the odd stray tear, she’d managed not to cry, and that felt like a huge achievement. Although, if she kept drinking wine and thinking about how she should be spending the day with her mum she might not manage to keep that up for much longer.
“You’re looking very serious.”
Flicking her gaze up, she was surprised to find Trystan standing over her. Only then did she realise just how close to tears she was. The tightness in her chest spread up her windpipe, burning her throat.
“Are you okay?” he asked, his features crumpling in concern.
She nodded so vigorously she almost spilled her wine. “I …” Her voice was brittle as she blinked back tears. “Are you here for dinner?” she asked, turning in her chair to check on Ellie and avoid the intensity of his gaze.
