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“A nurse will be out to speak with you in a moment.”
And then, the door is closed.
I have no idea what is happening, but it can’t be good. At all.
First the baby is in distress. Then Shelly passes out. This isn’t normal. Not by a long shot. Worst of all, I have no idea what is happening on the other side of the door. No idea if I am losing Shelly. Or if we are losing the baby.
Or both.
I fall to my knees. The linoleum smacks my bones hard, but I welcome the pain. I welcome every ounce. Because it is nothing compared to what is happening to my heart.
I can’t lose Shelly. Or the baby.
Losing either of them isn’t an option. Not even close.
TWENTY-NINE
SHELLY
Everything is foggy.The air, my thoughts. It feels as if I am floating. Lingering. Not really here or there.
What the hell is happening?
My eyes feel puffy and weighted. Heavy. Unable to open.
My throat is swollen and scratchy. Abrasive like sandpaper. My lungs dry and burning. I will myself to swallow to moisten my throat. But nothing happens. No relief comes. I try to take a deep breath, but my lungs won’t fill fully.
Again, I try to open my eyes and take in my surroundings. Open my mouth and say something. Anything. Again, I fail.
What the hell is going on?
And where is Devlyn?
I don’t sense him nearby. Not the smell of his addictive, earthy scent. Not his warm, charismatic energy. Not his whispered words of reassurance or the weight of his hand in mine.
Where is he?
My brain tells my muscles to move, tells my mouth to open and my voice to work, but nothing happens. I want to scream for help. Want to ask what is wrong with me. Want to ask if the baby is okay.
But none of it happens. Nothing works.
The thick fog returns. Clouds around me and pull me down, down, down. Without effort, I drift further into the darkness.
In the darkness, life feels peaceful.
In the darkness, everything feels safe.
In the darkness, the weight of the past falls away.
And now I understand. I get it. Why Devlyn liked the darkness for so long. It’s like a warm hug after a long day. A welcome home when you have been away for days or weeks.
In the darkness, there is no pain. Just relief. And I welcome the repose.
THIRTY
DEVLYN
The past tenhours have aged me ten years.
