AllFreeNovel
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Shelly sings to the Christmas song on the radio, a slight bop in her shoulders on every other line. I mentally soak up her joy. This time last year, we were finding our way back to each other after my freak-out. The weeks leading up to Christmas were a little less cheery as we tiptoed around our relationship.
But everything worked out. Slowly, steadily, we fell in love.
Now, I am about to stir things up.
“Eeee!” Shelly squeals as I park in the driveway.
Twisting to face her, I can’t help but match the bright smile on her lips. Her happiness is my happiness. Period.
“Will we see you at all today?” I tease. “Or should I take little miss up to the studio while you decorate?”
Shelly play slaps my arm. “It won’t be that bad.” Her eyes veer up then left and right as her lips shift side to side. “Maybe a little. But only because I’ve never had so much space to decorate. Plus, I get to decorate,really decorate, outside for the first time.”
I lean across the console and press my lips to her cheek. “Decorate whatever you want.” And I mean it.
When we exit the car, she retrieves Desirée’s carrier from the back seat while I fetch all the goodies from the back. With each step closer to the front door, my stomach twists in a new knot. I stay a pace or two behind Shelly so she doesn’t notice the shift in my expression.
It. Will. Be. Fine.
Inside the house, Shelly goes about unbuckling Desirée and getting her a bottle. I take all the bags to the reading nook near the sliding glass doors. It’s the most centralized room in the house and should make it easier for Shelly to go room to room and add splashes of holiday cheer.
I stop at the entrance of the living room and watch my girls for a beat. Desirée stares up at Shelly as she drinks her bottle. One of her little hands grips Shelly’s finger while the other hand plays with the ends of her hair. I snap a mental picture of the sight and make note to bring the image to life with pencil on stock paper.
“Be right back,” I say just above a whisper. Shelly tilts her head enough to flash me a soft smile.
Taking the steps two at a time, I dart up the stairs to my studio. My eyes roam the room from the landing. Nothing is out of place, not that I expected otherwise. Shelly only comes up here when we are together or I am working in the studio.
In three long strides, I reach the entrance to the closet. Tucked away behind new tubes of paint is one of the biggest gifts I will ever give Shelly. Well, besides our sweet baby girl. I pick up the smallest, heaviest gift on the planet and stow it in my pocket.
I park on the stool at the drafting table and zone out. Minutes tick by as I breathe deeply and mentally work to unravel the knots beneath my diaphragm. Calm as I can be, I rise from the stool and make my way back downstairs.
Now. Do it now.
At the base of the stairs, I peer into the living room. No sign of Shelly or Desirée. The house is quiet as I pad past the kitchen, sitting room and down the hallway toward the bedrooms. Just outside the nursery, I hear Shelly whisper to Desirée.
“Nap time, little angel. When you wake up, the house will sparkle. Lights and snow people and a beautiful tree. Blue and silver and white. It’ll be the best first Christmas ever.”
The door slowly opens and Shelly startles and slaps a hand to her chest when she spots me just past the frame.
“Sorry. Didn’t want to disturb while you got her settled.”
She drops her hand. “It’s okay. Just didn’t expect you there.”
Without a word, I take her hand in mine and walk us down the hallway. She doesn’t ask where we are going as I guide her through the house. She doesn’t ask what I am doing when I park us on the couch in the living room. I wrap an arm around her shoulders and tuck her into my side. Just like every other time, she melts into my side. Becomes an extension of me, of us.
“Love you,” I whisper against her hair.
“Love you too.”
I kiss her crown and give her shoulder a squeeze before straightening in my seat. She tips her head back enough to peek up. To steal my every breath with her shimmering twilight eyes.
The weight in my pocket digs at my thigh.
Everything will be fine. Do it. Now.
“Shell, I…”
She sits up straighter. Her hands come to my cheeks as her eyes scan every inch of my expression. “What is it?” A crease forms between her brows as horizontal lines mar her forehead.
