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“I do,” he said, leaning down until his forehead rested against hers. “So much.”
Mia pressed her lips together before she whispered, “I care about you, too, Sawyer, but I don’t trust myself. Logically, I know you’re nothing like Paul, and it’s fine for us to move in together, but another part of me is afraid I might make the same mistake again. That I’m going to rush in too fast, and fall too hard, and find myself in the middle of something awful.”
Sawyer pulled back, gazing deep into her eyes. “I would never hurt you, Mia. Never.”
“I know that,” she said. “I really do. But…” She shook her head as she stepped away, moving out of his arms. “But I can’t let you move in with me, even if I was one hundred percent sure it was the right thing for our relationship. Not with Paul out of jail.”
“That’s exactly why Ishouldmove in,” Sawyer said. “Hopefully the guy has gotten help and will know better than to violate his parole, but just in case, you shouldn’t be alone right now.”
“I don’t want you to move in because I need protection, either.” Mia crossed her arms over her chest. “I want you to move in because we care about each other and want to spend all our time together.”
“I want that, too,” Sawyer said, frustration creeping into his voice. “And I do care about you, and want to spend all our time together. Hell, every second I’m not with you, I’m thinking about you, anyway. And I think… I really—” He shook his head as if to clear it. “I care about you. Let me be there for you. Let me show you that there isn’t anything to be afraid of.”
Mia hesitated, but no matter how much she wanted to believe Sawyer, she couldn’t. There were things to be afraid of, so many things, the biggest of which was that Paul might hurt someone she loved. She was the one who had fallen for a sociopath. She deserved to suffer the fallout, but the thought that her parents or Tulsi or Bubba or Sawyer might be hurt trying to protect her was unthinkable.
Because she loved them all, she had to handle this on her own.
“I’m going to be making other arrangements. I’m sorry. I really am, Sawyer.”
“Mia, wait,” he said, but she was already starting back toward the house.
Her only regret, as she moved down the trail away from Sawyer, was that she’d never gotten to tell him that she loved him before she was forced to walk away.
CHAPTERFIFTEEN
There wasa tear in his beer.
It was confirmed, Sawyer had become the living embodiment of a sad country song.
The fact that the tear had come from being stabbed in the eye by a pool cue, when a well-lubricated Tulsi tried to make a trick shot at The Blue Saloon’s pool table, didn’t matter. It was a tear. It was in his beer. And he might as well be crying for his dear.
All he’d done for the past four days was think about Mia, and worry about Mia, and text her every few hours to make sure she was still okay and assure her that he could be at her place in ten minutes if she needed him. He tried to walk a fine line between concerned and intrusive—after what she’d been through, Mia didn’t need another stalker—but he was worried. He hated feeling helpless to protect her, especially now that the danger was so very, fucking real.
Paul had disappeared two days ago. He’d left his new job as a janitor at a gum company at four-thirty on Sunday afternoon, and never shown up at the halfway house for his five o’clock check-in. Victim’s Services had notified Mia right away and the LAPD had put out an APB for Paul’s arrest, but so far none of the police officers in Southern California had seen a man matching his description.
Probably because he was on his way to Texas. The crazy bastard could be close by now, while Mia sat in her apartment alone, an easy target.
“This is ridiculous,” Sawyer muttered, tossing the ice pack the bartender had given him for his eye onto the bar.
“I’m so sorry,” Tulsi said for the thousandth time, leaning around Bubba, who was seated between them at the Blue Saloon’s bar. “I hardly ever drink. I seriously can’t handle my liquor. I shouldn’t be allowed to hold sharp objects after I’ve had whiskey. Or maybe ever.”
It took Sawyer a moment to understand what had triggered the latest apology. When he did, he shook his head. “No, I didn’t meanyouwere ridiculous. My eye is fine. I was just…thinking about Mia. I hate sitting around like this.”
“Me too,” Bubba agreed, taking a long pull of his beer. “It’s ridiculous, and she’s being fucking stupid. Pardon my French.”
“She’s trying to protect us.” Tulsi took a dainty sip of her drink, obviously trying to take it easy after the pool cue incident. “It’s admirable.”
“But stupid,” Bubba said.
“But stupid,” Tulsi agreed with a sigh. “And not even her parents are having any luck. Usually her dad can guilt Mia into anything, but last I heard, she was still refusing to stay at her parents’ house, or let them stay with her.”
“A part of me wants to go over there and camp out on her doorstep, no matter what she has to say about it,” Sawyer said, balling his hand into a fist on top of the bar, hating how powerless he felt. “But then I’d be just like him.”
“You wouldn’t be like him,” Tulsi said. “But I totally get what you mean. I’m tempted to show up at Mia’s and invite myself over for a sleepover, since Clem’s with my parents tonight anyway. I know Ned’s got a car doing extra patrols of the neighborhood, but Mia shouldn’t be alone. She should have someone there with her.”
“Ned should have an officer at her place,” Bubba said, motioning to the bartender for another round. “I know the department is spread thin, but she’s his niece.”
“His niece who knows the department is spread thin and doesn’t want to be the reason someone else doesn’t get help.” Tulsi took a larger swig of her beer. “I just hope Paul gets picked up soon. I can’t wait to know that man is back in jail where he belongs.”
