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A slow smile grew on her puffy lips. “Mm… I know what you mean. Like eight inches of it.”
“I’m not getting that.” I frowned.
She looked horrified. “He’s got a small willy?”
“Average size.” I sipped wine to chase down the salt.
“You know what they say—size doesn’t matter. It’s how they use it.” Her heavily drawn-on eyebrow arched.
“Yeah, well…” I played with my glass. “He’s not that good in bed. He’s that get-on-top-and-hump-and-pump guy. A few minutes later, it’s over.”
She pulled a face like I’d described an unpleasant dental procedure. “You need to give him the flick.”
“I should try to stay on. He’s going to be a lord one day. That would make Mother happy. Ethan and Declan have let her down. The pressure’s on me to deliver some blue blood.”
“Boring,” she sang, taking a handful of crisps.
Jacinta was a romantic, like me. She believed that nothing other than hot sex and romantic love would induce her to utter “I do.”
“Savvie, this is so not you. Can you hear yourself? You’re hooking up with a guy only because of his pedigree.” She studied me closely. “Does he at least make you come?”
“Nope. I end up having to finish myself, while he’s snoring, mind you.”
She winced. “Oh, that sounds terrible. And you want to marry this guy?”
“I just can’t trust myself.” I huffed in frustration. “The guys that really make me hot and bothered are generally the poor ones. You know, bad boys. What the fuck’s wrong with me? Even now, whenever I see an inked guy standing on the corner, probably doing a deal, I want to jump him.”
She giggled. Jacinta, by her own admission, extracted much entertainment from the stories of the boys I’d hooked up with.
“There’s something sexy about men who work hard.”
“Work hard? Mm… like selling drugs.”
“Have you heard from Dusty?”
“Nope. He’s locked up. And look, he was hot in bed, but I’ve got to clean up my act. I’m the daughter of a billionaire, for fuck’s sake. I need to get my shit together. Marry and then run Elysium.”
“My parents stayed there a week ago. They loved it. The rock-pool spa was a highlight for my mother. And Dad hasn’t stopped raving about the golf course and its ocean views. Mother got to ride horses. It’s such a good idea for the London elite.”
“They’re coming from everywhere. We’re getting a lot of Americans.”
“It’s summer. That makes sense. What about winter and those cutting winds?”
“It will slow down, I guess, but there’s still lots of interest. And there’s to be a casino, I’m told. That will bring people all year around.”
“I know.” Her blue eyes sparked as though she’d solved a complicated puzzle. “Marry Olivier and get yourself a lover.”
“Mm… That sounds complicated and messy.” I crunched on a crisp.
“Complicated and messy is far from boring.” Her eyebrows waggled.
“For someone watching from the sidelines like you, maybe.” I sniffed. “Maybe I need to take hormones that make me less horny around muscly bad boys. I mean, just saying that is making me all hot and bothered.”
Jacinta laughed. “Hey, muscly, inked guys are fucking hot.”
A man passing our table turned and nodded with that “Oh yeah” expression on his face.
I looked at Jacinta and giggled.
