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Could I do that without wanting to touch and kiss her?
Not seeing her was worse. I kept calling, but she just never returned my calls. I even went to visit her on a few occasions, but she sent me away.
Savanah’s eyes followed our mother, who’d gone to join Crisp. “Don’t you think that was weird? How Mummy didn’t even blink about Will helping Bethany?”
“Maybe. You know Mother—she doesn’t show anything. A sign of weakness, she says.” A thought hit me. “Nathan’s having a party tomorrow night. Why don’t you come?”
I was worried about my sister. After Dusty was locked up for drug dealing, she withdrew into herself. As much as we were relieved that he was off the scene, I still wanted to see Savanah smile again. A night out in London might bring back some cheer.
“I guess they’ll all be there in their boring bespoke jackets.”
I shook my head. “Oh, Savvie, you’ve got to stop falling for the fallen.”
She frowned. “I just don’t get excited over our lot. You know that. And the gene pool likes variety.”
I thought of Mirabel’s pregnancy like I did every day.
“Have you spoken to Mirabel?” she asked.
My sister could read me well. I scratched my shadowed jaw. “I’ve tried. She’s asked me not to contact her.”
“God, that’s weird. She’s weird. I mean, I like her. I saw her the other night at the Mariner.”
My brow creased. “Really?”
“Uh-huh. You were in London.”
That wouldn’t have been a healthy environment in her state. “I hope she wasn’t drinking.”
Theadora joined us again, and Savanah turned to her. “You were there at the Mariner. Mirabel wasn’t drinking, was she?”
Theadora’s decisive shake of her head made me breathe again, despite an empty feeling in my stomach.
“She’s looking really well,” Theadora said. “And she sang brilliantly. She sold out CDs. Her new song’s selling well.”
I smiled. I wanted success for Mirabel. I loved her—I’d admitted that much to myself. Regardless of who the father to her child was, she would always have a deep place in my heart.
My body hadn’t forgotten. I watched her constantly on YouTube.
“What about Keira?” Savanah asked after a girl I’d recently dated.
“What about her?” I asked.
“Why isn’t she here?”
“Because I didn’t invite her.” I pulled at my hair, something I tended to do whenever an uncomfortable subject came up.
“But aren’t you dating?” Savanah persisted.
My heart just wasn’t in it. Neither was my body. “It’s nothing. To be honest, I’m not that involved.”
“She’s gorgeous,” Savanah said.
Yes, she was gorgeous with those long slim legs and willowy figure, but something was missing. Her beauty didn’t grow every time I looked at her. Like the sky at twilight that always showed something extraordinary at every glance. Like Mirabel, who possessed so many captivating expressions that I was in a constant state of arousal.
Chapter 21
Mirabel
