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“I haven’t used contraception for years. It’s just not happening.”
The struggle in her voice caught me by surprise. This was new. I’d always assumed Sheridan wished to remain childless.
“IVF?”
She grimaced. “It’s expensive and, from what I hear, awfully invasive.”
“I’ve got money pouring in with that Netflix deal, and my sales are through the roof after that video.”
A proud smile filled her face. “I’m so glad you agreed to do that video. It’s so great.”
After learning of my pregnancy and the pain that came from leaving Ethan, I desperately needed a creative project to distract me, so I contracted a video maker. The net result was an extraordinary video of “Song of the Sea,” which had a significant influence on downloads.
Sheridan touched my hand. “Thanks so much, sweetheart, but no. I’ll just be an aunty to Cian.”
We laced fingers and smiled.
“I hope you’re going to keep staying here, whenever you’re in town. Now that you’re making money,” she said.
“Only if you promise to take that money I gave you for bills. Now that I’ve got money, I can pay my own way. And what about Bret?”
“I think he appreciates you being the one to absorb my gibbering crap, leaving him off the hook.”
I shook my head at their crazy relationship. All relationships had their foibles. That much, I knew.
“Hey, Pete still wants to jump your bones,” she said.
I thought of Bret’s blonde friend, who was attractive in that easy-going, “how’s the weather” kind of way. “Hello. I’m enormous.”
“No, you’re not.” She frowned. “It’s just your tits are huge, that’s all. That’s probably why he’s keen.”
“Mm… He’s sweet, but I’d get too bored. I’d prefer to be alone than in a relationship where there’s not much to say.”
I thought of how Ethan and I chatted effortlessly about all kinds of topics. He loved to ask me about certain causes and how I felt.
“Why don’t you drop this stubborn act and let Ethan in?” Sheridan asked for the millionth time.
I sighed. He kept sending me regular texts with silly emojis, songs, and all kinds of reminders of his existence. I didn’t need any, though, because Theadora kept me posted. I knew he was dating some leggy girl from London. Despite Theadora saying his heart wasn’t into it, knowing that still hurt.
“When Cian’s born, let’s see. It just feels weird. I can’t see him without wanting to have sex with him. He’s an addictive man.” My body prickled with heat just saying that.
“I can’t blame you. The guy’s hot.”
“But that’s the problem. When I see Ethan, I think of sex. Not a good friend I can share a cup of tea with and talk about the latest Brexit fuckup.”
She laughed. “Surely you don’t want to talk politics.”
I shook my head. “But you know me—I need to know we can be more than just clothes-ripping lovers.”
“That sounds hot, though. I wouldn’t mind.”
Her sad smile made me worry about my cousin’s happiness. If anything, despite how close she was with Bret, being around them reminded me that I wasn’t about to do anything by halves: boyfriends, life, or even art.
What Sheridan didn’t know was that Ethandidvisit me.
At the time, Audrey called out, then a knock came at the door. Instead of my neighbour at the door, however, it was Ethan wearing a sheepish smile.
“Sorry, love,” she said, biting her lip and looking apologetic. Ethan kissed her on the cheek, and off she scampered, probably touching her cheek. It wasn’t every day a handsome man kissed her.
