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16
Iwoke the next morning feeling like death. I assumed I was coming down with the flu and told everyone to stay away from me. Perhaps it was just a severe form of morning sickness, but it took everything out of me. The nights and days blurred, but I didn’t care. I had nowhere to be and no one to see.
* * *
It was New Year’s Eve, and Nate and Amanda convinced me to come out with them. Everyone in town was heading to Easton’s and according to my brother, I wasn’t allowed to mope around the house on a night that required celebrating.
When Nate suggested I be their taxi for the night with a knowing sparkle in his eye, I couldn’t say no. He had lived up to his promise and I owed him. I was feeling a little better by then, with the exception of a foreign pain in my shoulder, and decided it wouldn’t hurt to join them.
I put on a pretty dress to lift my mood, took some painkillers, and headed into town with Nate and Amanda in tow. I was relieved to find Luke was working so I could easily avoid talking to him, unless I wanted a drink. And my drinking days were over.
They were right when they said, ‘The whole town will be there’, the place was absolutely packed, but thankfully Nate reserved a booth just for us. I could sit and hide from the world and simply observe the drunken antics of strangers.
Luke’s mouth fell open when I followed Nate and Amanda through the tavern door. We gave each other a polite smile and nod, then walked in different directions to avoid conversation. We hadn’t spoken since his bizarre outburst on Christmas day.
I still seemed to be quite a novelty in town, and had many requests to perform with the band. But to their disappointment, I politely declined. I hadn’t performed since my collapse and wanted to stay out of the limelight.
After a few hours of relief, my pain returned two-fold. I tried to massage it, but it didn’t seem to help. Although it was too early for another dose, I anxiously rummaged through my bag for more painkillers. My unease grew when I realised I’d left the packet at home on the bathroom bench.
I hung back my head with clenched teeth, then pivoted my gaze to the bar, sensing him. As Luke’s eyes struck mine, he swiftly returned his attention back to work.
“Natalie, you’re looking really washed out,” Amanda said, and frowned at Nate. “Why did you make her come? She’s obviously still unwell.”
Nate smirked. “She’s alright…she’s just…” he paused. “Actually, Nat, you look like death warmed up.”
“I’m okay, it’s just this flu. It’s knocked me around this week,” I reassured. “Would you guys have any painkillers?”
They both shook their heads and grimaced at each other. “Perhaps Luke has some in the back office?” Nate offered.
I sighed heavily and massaged my forehead. “I’ll go ask,” I muttered, pushing myself up. My vision faltered as I stood, and I steadied myself with the table before anyone noticed. The haze cleared and I approached the bar, wiping the sweat from my forehead.
Luke deliberately served another two customers before acknowledging my presence. “What would you like? Gin and Tonic?”
“Um, no…I was just wondering if you had any painkillers out back?” I asked, sheepishly.
His face hardened. “What? Why? I can’t give patrons painkillers, it’s illegal.” He had never referred to me as a patron before, and it stung.
I pursed my lips, and took a deep breath. “Can I just get a glass of water then?”
Luke narrowed his eyes and grasped the bar. “Tell me what’s wrong with you and I’ll see what I’ve got in the first aid kit.”
My nostrils flared. “Just forget it,” I growled, pushing myself away from the counter.
“Blue, wait!”
I shoved my way through the crowd and escaped into the ladies’ restroom, where I knew Luke wouldn’t follow. Finally, some peace. The noise in the main bar was penetrating my skull and making me feel even worse. I turned on the tap, and scooped the cool water into my shaking hands. I swallowed enough to soothe my dry throat and splashed the rest over my face.
I gazed at myself in the mirror and Nate was right. I looked terrible. Even with the extra makeup, my eyes were sunken and my skin was grey.
My heart lurched when I heard voices approaching and I threw myself into the closet cubicle. I couldn’t let anyone see me like this. Locking the door, I sat down on the toilet and rubbed the persistent ache in my shoulder.
A familiar voice entered the restroom and my breathing stopped. It was Marni and her friends.
“So, when are you moving in?” her friend asked, excitedly.
“In a few weeks. I need to go to Melbourne and pack up Mum’s place first,” Marni replied.
Her friend sighed. “That will be hard. What are you going to do with it all?”
