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So I take out the trash.
The futility of it in comparison to what I have left to do almost undoes me. Takes the wind out of my sails and leads me back to my computer or my bed, to the oblivion of work or sleep.
But I resist.
I throw the curtains open in the old townhouse instead, this place that had once been filled with life. I used to have friends over. Friends I’d neglected. Family. I’d neglected them, too.
My walk around the grocery store is pathetic, but I do it. Buy some of the things I’ve seen Summer use. Stock my fridge.
And then I stare at my phone, at that scary, silent glass object resting on my kitchen counter.
Call Dr. Johnsonis the one point on this little to-do-list of mine that I don’t want to do. Correction—one of the many. But it’s at the very top.
I can’t see myself walking with a cane. A fumbling idiot on the street, that’ll be me. Having to rely on the world at large for my safety. What do I do if I’m lost? Hold up my hand and wear a placid, come-help-me smile?
Dear God, I’ll be at the complete mercy of voice activation on my phone. Siri already misunderstands me half of the time.
The floor sways beneath my feet, threatens to give out. This can’t be happening.
But it is, I remind myself, fighting with the bottomless pit inside me. It is, and running from it won’t make my eyes stop worsening. Won’t do a damn thing.
So I reach for my phone.
Three hours later, I’m walking with Tristan in Central Park. He’s staring down at his phone, sorting through email.
He’s not Dr. Johnson.
He’s also confused as to why I showed up at the Acture Capital and asked if he wanted to take a walking meeting. Hell, he’s probably confused as to why I haven’t said a word in the past five minutes, despite asking him out here.
I hardly know why myself.
“How’s Freddie?” I ask.
He smiles, sliding his phone into his pocket. “Good. Great, actually. I’ve almost convinced her to move in with Joshua and me.”
“Damn. That’s great.”
“Yeah, it is.” He shakes his head, a fond smile on his face. “You know, I always thought the idea of sharing my life with someone would be difficult. Impossible, even. With her, though, it’s been seamless. Sure, we’ve had to compromise on things, but on the whole... Seamless.”
“I’m happy for you,” I say.
“Thanks, man.” He looks over and gives a chagrined shrug. “I was at a jewelry store the other day.”
It takes me a moment. “A ring,” I say. “You’re thinking of proposing?”
“Yes. It’s too soon, I know that, and she does too. Hell, she’ll tell me off for proposing to her if I do it now. But I will. Sooner rather than later.”
I put a hand on his shoulder. “That’s fantastic. Truly. You know she’ll say yes.”
“Yes,” Tristan says, smiling. “I do know that.”
I’ve never once thought about engagement rings, but now I wonder what Summer would like. What’s her style?
Understated, I think. Perhaps an original design. Something she can be a part of herself. I can already see her chatting up an attendant, the two of them becoming fast pals as they bond over precious gems.
“Anthony?” Tristan asks. “Was there something in particular you wanted to talk to me about? Is everything okay with Opate?”
“Yes. The app is almost ready to launch. We’ll run a trial period of three months, iron out any bugs, and by then it should be ready to launch nationwide.”
