Page 30 of Back To You


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Grabbing the travel-size toiletries we bought at Target, I arrange them inside his new carrying case. It’s a bag full of compartments that my mother sent me for my trip to Europe over a year ago. Charcoal colored and spill proof, it’s meant to keep everything inside your bag protected from an accident.

The bag is useful and works; I can attest to that, and now it’s his.

Closing the zipper, I slip the bag between a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt he claims is a must for traveling up mountain terrain. That it’s a lot colder than one would think, or so he said when noticing the strange looks I gave him.

But aside from that short conversation, we’ve been silent, lost in thought as the hours continue to tick by.

Six hours. That’s all we have left.

His flight leaves tonight at nine, and we’re heading to the airport in North Charleston around four. It gives us just enough time to drop my things off at home, and then I can drive him back to catch his flight.

I’m losing him for six months.

I can’t stop myself from focusing on this. In just a few short hours, he’ll be gone after barely getting a few days in with him. A few days where he’s become my everything.

My heart is his. Will only ever be his.

“You know it’s okay to be upset, babe,” Nick says, pulling me from my thoughts. They bring me up short. “Being upset is normal…a human emotion that I expect you to experience.”

Am I being that transparent?

“Yes, you are.” He comes around to my side of the bed where I’ve been packing things for him. “Moreover, its okay to be. I hate the fact that I’m leaving…that I won’t be able to see this gorgeous smile—wake up with you in my arms.”

“Someone needs to be strong for the both of us.”

“Fuck that.” Nicholas half closes the luggage and practically throws it off the bed, spilling some of the contents within that I’ve been organizing for the past hour. “Let it out, Mimi. It’s okay.”

I’m looking at him with eyes wide, not knowing how to react. In all honesty, I’m afraid of the dam bursting and the emotions I’m fighting to keep at bay bursting forth.

“I’m okay.”

His eyes narrow, lips pursing at my blatant lie. “No, you’re not.”

“Just leave it—” is all I get out before I am airborne with the mattress meeting my back a few seconds later. He lies above me—body spread out over mine and his face serious. There’s concern in those hazel orbs, and a knot forms in my throat.

“Please don’t hide from me. The good and the bad, I will be here for it all.”

“I don’t know what to say.” Another lie.

There’s a grunt, this small noise of disappointment that comes from the back of his throat as he lets out a long exhale. He shifts, braces some of his weight on his elbows, and then brings his lips to mine. At once, warmth fills me. It’s everywhere. He is everywhere.

A clear reminder of what I’ll be without for months.

I hate it, but at the same time, I do admire his generosity. The need to help others.

And with the hate comes guilt.

People need him. Are counting on him.

This isn’t the end of us, but the beginning. I just need to wait for him. Six months is nothing in the grand scheme of things.

“How about you start with I love you, Nick, but this is all hitting me at once and I’m upset.”

“I love you, Nick…” There’s a knot in my throat, and I pause. Take a second to collect my thoughts while his eyes beseech me to talk. Tell him the truth and hide nothing. Problem is that once again I can’t function, especially with his lips on mine.

Just slow little sweeps across my mouth that break the hold on my emotions. My lips tremble against his, and tears gather at the edge of my eyes.

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